The Year as I see it
*****WARNING: DEEP THOUGHTS AHEAD********
(I know, rare for me, but i'm graduating and have been doing a lot of thinking lately, so gimme a break would ya?)
"Truly good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." - G. Randolf
I found that quote on the Internet and it just seemed to make a lot of sense. I'm leaving Kamloops now, graduating. And, barring a miracle job appearing in Kamloops, I won't get to come back next year to be with my friends, who are all a year behind me. Also, to those same people - good luck to everyone who's coming back for another year of this, or in Al's case, 2 years. You guys all rock. I'm sure you'll do great.
Graduating though- it's sort of bittersweet. I thought I'd be happier than hell to be finished my education, but I'm not. Yes, I'm thrilled to be done with school, and excited and a little nervous about moving into the "real world." but it's bittersweet because, I managed to make some very good friends while I was here and it will be hard to leave them.
When I first came to Kamloops I didn't really want to be here, and a lot of the time, I wasn't. I went back to Langley nearly every weekend, and I really didn't like it here. But that changed this year because I met people who I really loved being around. I've been lucky enough to have met some of my very best friends here. In my life, as some people already know, I went through a lot of different groups of friends. But the people I've met here - and Mike, Meghan and Melissa especially; I know I will be friends with for a very long time, and for that I am extremely grateful and happy for. I can honestly say this has probably been the best year of my life. I know Melissa likes to say how this year was the best year and the worst year all at once, and its true, it certainly had its ups and downs. But for me, low points included, as far as great years go, this one is right at the top.
I was thinking, and I realized that this year I think I grew a lot as a person. I'm not so guarded or so introverted anymore and I tend to trust people more with a lot of things. Not that I didnt trust people before, but I think I've opened up more to certain people. Now, some of these same people may argue that I'm still sort of a closed book - but I'm more open than I was so I give myself some credit. I guess I'm a work in progress. I also did some things, well one thing really, that in the past I'd usually been too much of a chickenshit to do. Well, unfortunately, I guess in the end I really didn't have to do anything, but that's just a minor detail. I chalk it up to shyness, not my finest quality. Without getting into any detail - even though things didnt necessarily go my way, I'm still glad I went down swinging instead of standing in the on-deck circle waiting for something to happen. In the past I probably never would have done that.
The thing I learned from all that is that sometimes you just gotta stop waiting for the perfect pitch and get the bat off your shoulder. If you go down swinging, then so be it. Sure it hurts like hell, and there are moments where you wish it never happened, but life doesn't always go your way all the time. But as long as you give it a shot that's all that matters.
I credit a lot of this growth not just to myself but to my closest friends (you know who you are). I've learned a lot from every one of you, and I'm a better person because of it. So thank-you. With the amount of people who have come in and out of my life over the years I don't get attached to people easily, but there some people here I've grown sort of attached to. Well, maybe 'attached' isn't the right word - but in a relatively short 8 months it feels like I've known them my whole life. That's never really happened to me before, and its sort of cool.
Yep, it's been quite a year for me personally, and it's probably not the last things that will change about me either, but it's a good start.
As a side note, I can also drink a lot more than I could when I came here. Again, I give partial credit to my friends. As far as drinking skills go, I think Lorne summed it up best when, a few weekends ago he said "We're professionals at this point." Yes, pros indeed.
Now I don't want to sound completely bummed, because I'm not. This isn't supposed to sound like a eulogy. I'm very excited to be going back home to see friends and family, and the future, whatever it is, I'm sure will be great. But still, I've sort of grown attached to this place, despite its pulp-mill stench and stupid one-way streets.
In a way I don't want the year to really end because there will be a lot of people I won't see for awhile, in some cases forever.
There are some people I'll miss more than others, and one person I'll miss most of all. But hey, that's just the way it goes.
C'est la vie.
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