Sunday, February 27, 2005

*Rambling, incoherent post ahead. You have been warned.

For the last week or so, I've felt really good. Not that I'm particularly happier (I'm in a good mood most of the time anyhow), but I just feel....different.

I realized this last night when I was talking to my uncle in Edmonton. He called me last night, and I guess my mom had told him about last Sunday when i punched the guy at the hockey game. Now, my uncle Dan is the awesomest guy around, and we're pretty close even though he lives far away. He's also a lawyer, and I suppose because of this he's obligated to try and get people to do the right thing. He's also a really nice guy, and certainly not an aggressive person (good thing too, cuz he could kick some serious ass I bet, he's a big guy).

Anyway, he kind of gave me the business for punching him, about how technically it's assault and all that stuff. He wasn't very impressed with me, and as much as I didn't really like getting a lecture about it, he's right. I listened to him because my uncle is a smart guy and a guy I respect the hell out of, but I'm still happy I did it.

I told him I did it because I was sick of being a doormat for 23 years. Originally I said it because it sounded like a good excuse that might get me off the hook, then I realized that I really have been a doormat for 23 years: I'm a passive person, I don't fight back much, and I don't say what I mean a lot of the time, and (other than my career) I rarely go hard after things that I want. Instead I just wait, expecting things to just happen on their own.

I decided that I'm not going to do that anymore. No more doormat. No more any of that shit. If I want something I'm going after it. And if somebody else already has what I want, I'm gonna try and take it from them.

To quote my good friend Patty P, everyone can just "Get the fuck outta my shit."*

* I know it's a stretch to make that quote work in this context, but we've all been laughing at it all weekend long, so I'm using it.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

:: Here comes the Sun ::

Right now, in Vancouver and the surrounding 'burbs, it is 17 degrees. It's sunny, warm, without a cloud in the sky.

I'm wearing shorts and no socks.

Although it doesn't look that bad in a few places where you might be (Vulcan is 2 degrees and looks alright), it doesn't top this.

Vulcan: 2 degrees
Dawson: 4 degrees
Peace River: -4 (haha, fuckers).
Kamloops: 0 degrees and getting colder.
Yellowknife: -18

Just thought I'd point out that it's still February, still winter, and I am much warmer than you.


Friday, February 25, 2005


1. What has been the best "out-of-nowhere" fluke find you have made?
I don't make too many out-of-nowhere finds myself. Usually Mike makes them and passes them on to me.

2. What's something you find yourself "finding" repeatedly?
My keys. My red pen (at work). Also, I repeatedly find myself being awesome.

3. Quick it's hide and seek. Where is somewhere in your house you could hide really, really well?
Behind the ugly yellow chair I used to have in my room; in the closet where the furnace is.

4. What's something unlikely but possible that you would like to find selling for cheap in a pawn shop?
A Wayne Gretzky rookie card; A Doug Flutie New England Patriots Starting Lineup figure; and a cheap gun.

5. What is something that you have found yourself laughing at recently?
Sports Night. (Yes, I'm watching them...again).

Sunday, February 20, 2005

:: You wanna go me? ::

Tonight, for the first time since Grade 6, I got in a fight.

And unlike that elementary school scrap, this time I won.

We were all at Chris' hockey game against Aldergrove. It was a pretty "spirited" affair, that culminated with three on-ice fights at once after Gorski (the goalie) got hit by some guys after he slashed 'em first. So there were three fights going on, and these 45-year-old-ish Aldergrove dinks behind us starting mouthing off Gorski, and calling him some names I didn't approve of, so I let my displeasure be known.

Aldergrove guy then told me to "come up here and say what I'd been saying" so I took him up on his offer. Then he called me a "fucking fat-ass" and that's just about where I draw the line.

So I punched him in the face.

Then when he tried to get me I just gave him the ol' facewash with my right hand. He didn't get me even once before it was broken up.

Nick 1. Aldergrove Guy 0.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

I'm finding it harder and harder to post things on time lately. When I get home from work I just don't feel like writing anymore, even if it is fun stuff on my blog, rather than work stuff. So, better late than never, some tales from work earlier in the week....

A few weeks ago, boss decided to relocate me from my small "new guy" desk to a bigger, L-shaped one like everybody else has. At first I didn't want to move, because now my back faces the rest of the office and people are always coming up behind me and startling me. But now I'm glad for the switch because I'm next to Steve, and that side of the office has basically turned into Grade 4 recess. Especially this week, since other people were on holidays and we were left to our own devices.

All week we talked about fruit. It started when Steve couldn't choose whether to eat an apple or a pear at lunch, and we decided that you can never go wrong with an apple. Then we had a long convo, on and off for two days, about what the most efficient fruit was (ie: easiest to eat). Oranges and grapefruits came in last, since you have to peel it, pick the white pulp off, and break into into pieces. On top of that your hands smell like citrus afterwards and are sticky. The orange did earn points, however, because when you throw the peel away, your garbage can smells nice for a few days. The eventual winner was a tie between seedless grapes, and the plum, because you can eat the entire thing easily while driving and then spit the pit out the window.

We also came to the conclusion that the most useless fruit was the pommegranate, simply because they have too many seeds and neither of us even knew what the hell they tasted like or how you're supposed to eat them.

Then we had a lengthy discussion about what fruit everyone in the office would be. We also compared our co-workers to different types of dogs. One person was a lemon (sour, only good in small doses, and longs to be the more popular and powerful orange).

And we talked for a good 25 minutes about different types of handshakes and which was the best one.

We wasted a lot of time this week. Surprisingly though, we didn't get in trouble from boss for it. Instead, he just laughed, and occasionally participated in our stupid conversations.

There was one time, during a debate about what was the best melon, he was just baffled.

"This is the third time this week I've walked in here and felt like I was in the middle of a Seinfeld episode," he said.

Clearly, it was a slow week.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

You know what pisses me off? When you have a party and things get broken.

You know what pisses me off more? When things get somehow smashed in a room nobody was even in, nor supposed to be in, and you don't find out about it until two days later.

Also, I love how whoever did it never mentioned it to me or Chris. It's not like we'd be mad - it was just a candleholder, but nobody likes to find glass all over the floor.


Saturday, February 12, 2005

"I got paid on a Friday and I didn't even get drunk...I deserve some kind of trophy- A big one like the Stanley Cup." - Gorski.

"Actually, I wouldn't want to win the Stanley Cup, I don't think I could lift it up and that'd be pretty embarrassing." - Gorski again.

Pretty good shaker last night. About 15 or so people, including Melissa and Jeff. Good to see Melissa again after 5 or 6 months The party itself was the usual people, but a bit more chaotic due to alcohol consumption. I figured that out this morning when me and Garski went to clean up.

Beer cans (many still full) were found in the following places: Living room, kitchen, family room, downstairs bathroom, back deck, backyard, front yard, hallway, upstairs bathroom, my room, the spare room, the floor, and the dog's water dish.

It was a doozy.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

"I'm gonna get a cat and name it Molson and I'm gonna get like six dogs at the same time, and they'll all be pals. Then when they're older they'll mate and I'll have catdogs." - Jenna

Sunday, February 06, 2005


Today, as most folks know, was the Super Bowl. So, after a(nother) night of heavy drinking at Roosters, we roused ourselves from bed in time to get to the bar around 1:30, in order to get the good tables. We thought it'd be busy - we were very wrong. Eventually, about 12 or 13 of us were there - and there was probably only 8-9 more people in the whole place.

That lack of people made things easier for the prize draw - if your name was drawn, you actually had to actually be there to win.

What was the prize you ask? Well, if you want, you can swing by my house and see for yourself. You see, despite never winning anything ever, I somehow walked away with the Sleeman's mini-fridge full of beer.

I had six tickets in the draw, which was far more than I really planned to drink, because I drank alot on Friday and Saturday night. A lot. Oh well, definitely worth it.

Now if I could only find someplace to put it.
:: Roosters ::

Chris: Hey, where did the Hip play when we saw them the first time?
Nick: Shutup, there's lesbians over there making out.
Chris (turning around to look): SHOW US YOUR BOOBS!!

Then he got fingered by lesbian #1.

Jenna: Trevor Linden doesn't have kids? Well, he can have my kids anytime!

Another funny moment: Chris, was talking to some girl he knew from a few years back. In mid-conversation she just stopped him and said "Sorry, I like my men taller." and turned away. Then she started talking to Ian by saying "Hey, you're kinda cute."

Chris is 5'10". Ian is 6'0". Who ever said an inch or two doesn't count?

(Note: Chris came up with an appropriate comeback this morning. "Yeah, well I like my women less than 260." A little late, but still funny.)

Also, at about midnight Ian decided his way of meeting chicks was to give every one of them a high-five. His success rate was about 70 percent. Not bad, although I had to hear about Ian's fucking "theory" the whole damn way home.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Some chick: Where do you work?
John: I deliver flowers for a living.
Gorski: I deliver shut the fuck up.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Today was a very weird day. At times good, at times stressful, bad, shocking, and annoying.

For starters, today we had our usual Wednesday story meeting at work. And, for the first time since I started in May, I really had next to nothing to write about - which is scary considering that my boss doesn't get too happy when he hears "I got nothing." Take, for example, this:

I paused briefly between item 1 and item 2 on my list...

"Is that it?" says boss.
"Uh, no, I got a bit more."
"Good, because otherwise you and me were gonna have words."


So I emerged from said meeting with a meagre list of stories to write. The phrases 'grasping at straws' and 'scraping the bottom of the barrel' come to mind. So I set out to come up with something - frantically. So I hit the phones. I called 9-10 people within about a 15 minute span.

No one was there. 10 messages.

10 in 15 minutes. Nice start to the day.

So I sat at my desk for the majority of my day, working on some small projects and basically trying to look busy. Then, for 45 minutes or so, I left to go to the curling rink to chat with a few guys and take a quick picture.

When I got back: 10 messages.

The times on the 10 little pink message slips read as follows: 2:54, 2:57, 3:30, 3:31, 3:34, 3:34, 3:37: 3:41, 3:43, 3:44.


Needless to say, I barely got to call anybody back before going home at 5:00.

Considering how much catch-up work I'll have tomorrow, Thursday ain't shaping up to be any better than Wednesday.

Then, on my way home I picked up my newly fixed (again!) computer from Geeks R Us (seriously, that's what it's called). I'm glad it's fixed, but it cost me $235. Coming a day after I paid $343 for a plane ticket to Toronto and my debit card is crying right now just a little bit.

Now the shocking part of my day - at least it was to me. I was lounging around the house as I do most week nights, not doing much of anything. Then, for the first time in a loooong time, I decided to step on the bathroom scale. Let's just say it was a LOT higher than I thought it'd be. While my
eating better plan seemed to be working - and I still think it is - I was still quite taken aback. It was pretty depressing actually.

So, finally I got fed up. For the first time, well, ever, I decided to go for a jog. Now, to be fair, this was really more of a walk, I did run for a bit, however small a distance. I actually went for a pretty decent jaunt - about 45 minutes around Walnut Grove.

And now my legs hurt. And my feet. And my back.

Maybe I'll do it again tomorrow. Fucking bathroom scale.