Sunday, June 22, 2003

:: Classic Times ::

"So, she was hitting back with both rockets eh?" - My dad, after Jeremy and me tried to describe this girl we both knew who was, shall we say, well endowed. My dad rules.

"I'm in the nine year program and I might take the next year off." - Chris, talking about his approach to school.

We had quite the shaker last night at my place. What started out as me, Ian, Sean and Jeremy drinking in my backyard soon turned into a medium sized gathering with people I'd never met (Nathan Pink), people I hadn't seen in a long time (Katie) and people I see far too much of (Ian, Chris, Jeremy). It was a fun night and I wish I could remember half of the wickid quotes that were flying around, but I just can't. Sorry. But I do remember hitting Ian right in the face with a cell phone. It was fuckin' sweet.

Probably the highlight of the night.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

I've created another new blog, this one about JobHunt 2003 that just never seems to end.

Job Hunt 2003

Also, I'm copying an idea from some random blog I read and have added a feature called "99 Things about Me". The link is on the left. Check it out.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Well, it may be a few days late but Ian and I decided that some of his antics from the weekend should be preserved in blog-form. So here goes...

So on Saturday night we went out drinking. Having been 19 for less than a week, it was Ian's first trip to Roosters. The night was good, but unfortunately Chris couldn't come with us because he's not 19 yet, and we all felt bad he couldn't come. Around midnight, after many beers, Ian mumbles and slurs this to me as he looks around at the (many) hot girls at the bar.

"You know what? There might be a lot of boobs here, but I'd still rather hang out with Chris. That might make me sound queer, but it's the truth."

Then later on, a waitress picked up a condom (in the package still) that someone had dropped on the floor. She tossed it on the table in front of Ian, laughed, and said "You must've dropped this." Ian, looked at it for a second, waved it in front of the waitress and, pulling this gem of a pick-up line from his arsenal, propositioned the waitress:

Ian: So, you wanna join me?
Waitress: Only if my husband can come too.
Ian: Sure, why not. He can come!

Smooth Ian. Real smooth.

Then on the drive home Ian continued his drunken rambling. We were going to quickly meet up with Chris, Sean and Pat, just to say hi, and for some reason, Ian couldn't have been more excited. He kept talking about "classic times" we'd had with our crew of friends. And he wasn't only talking about good times from the past, he was excited about the "future classic times" that apparently have yet to come.

From the time I met Ian when he was about 6 until the time he was 17 he was the quietest, shyest kid I knew. But get a little booze in him and he's a changed man. And without him, our drunken-escapades wouldn't be nearly as amusing.

We're laughing with you Ian, not at you. Honest.*

*We actually are laughing at you.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

"We have Bachelor degree's, you'd think we could put ourselves in alphabetical order." - Leigh Ford, as we got ready to walk out into Sport Mart Place for the grad ceremony.

"This is just like sitting through one of Maxine's classes." - Leigh Ford again, about halfway through the three hour ceremony.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Check out this fake ID that Bucholtz tried to use at the cold beer and wine store. God only knows why he thought it would work...

Well people, if you didn't know it before then let it be said now: Ian Forbes can drink. A lot. Really, it's fucking impressive. We started off the night with Ian saying something like "I'll get kind of drunk, but not can't-walk-on-my-own drunk because I have to work tomorrow morning. We'll save that for the weekend." Well, Ian's original drinking plan went right out the fuckin' window, because as I write this, Ian is more drunk than I've seen him in a long time - and even though he's only been 19 for a day, he's handling it like a veteran.

Tonight me, Chris, Ian, Sean, Jeremy, Mike, Danny, Amanda, Pat and Ivan went to Shark's Club to drink, and since it was his birthday and all, we felt it was our obligation to get Ian trashed. It's about midnight right now, and I've been gone from the bar for about 20 minutes. Ian is still there, drinking. When I left he'd had close to 20 shots - mostly tequila or 151, not to mention a whole lot of beer. And he's still standing, although he lost his ability to talk coherently about an hour ago. Case in point, the following conversation after Pat bought some cheesy bread so Ian could get some food in his stomach to go along with the booze:

Pat: Hey Ian, did you get some of that cheesy bread?
Ian: Oh yeah? When's that coming?
Pat: It's already been here dude. It's gone now.
Ian: Oh, shit. What was on it?
Pat: I don't know, cheese and garlic and stuff.
Ian: So it was good cheescake?

I'm supposed to pick Ian up for work tomorrow morning at 7:30. If he is there I will be impressed.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Well it's June 10 today and that means it's Ian's 19th birthday. We're goin out to The Shark Club (without hats!) to get hammered tonight.

Happy birthday buddy.

Next up on the soon-to-be-19 list - Chris. Only a month and a day away.

Commence drinking...

Monday, June 09, 2003

:: Work ::

"Just sit there in your car and watch them. Listen to music or something." - Mohammed, telling me my job description for the week.

Watching other people work is harder than you'd think. Not that it's physically tough, but it is painstakingly boring to just sit all day doing nothing. Here's what went down on my first day doing office work for Landtec Ground Experts:

I show up around 10:00, learn a couple of basic things about the invoicing system etc etc, and then start actually making a few invoices. All I was supposed to do today was invoice the Township of Langley - my Dad - for $24,000 worth of work that Mohammed hadn't billled them for yet. So I did all that by 11:30, and with Mohammed gone by this point there was nothing else I could do. So I wasted some time checking my email, looking at some baseball scores, and talking to Mike on MSN (which was conveniently already installed on the computer). Then Mohammed called me and asked me to go to the Annacis Island job site, where I had previously worked 2 days as a weed monkey a month ago. Now, he doesn't want me to work - just supervise the crew that's already there. The problem was that none of the crew is certified to work there because they hadn't went to this mandatory safety seminar - I had. And without a certified person, they aren't allowed to work on the site.

So there I sat, in my car, from 1:30 to 4:30 listening to music and trying to stay awake. So it was a real tough day.

Maybe not as tough as Ian's day though. Instead of mowing grass like he normally does, his job today consisted of laying in an Aldergrove parking lot "guarding" hanging baskets. While two other guys went around Aldergrove for an hour at a time hanging the baskets, Ian's job was to watch the remaining ones to make sure they weren't stolen (which happens quite often, as pathetic as that is). And Ian wasn't just being a lazy ass either, he was actually told to guard the flowers by Mohammed.

"Hey Ian, I'm not paying you 10 bucks an hour to just stand around. Lie down and take a nap."

Yep, the very guy who signs his paycheck told him to lie around for hours at a time. I swear to God.

And they're actually paying us for this.

Sunday, June 08, 2003

Mike Bourke (drunk): Ah, good, at least I'm not a schizophenic.
Pat Bourke: No, but your fly is down.

This weekend was a pretty good one. The weather was wicked, and because of that we spent a lot of time sitting outside drinking beer. A lot of beer. And in Jeremy's case, that also meant puking it right back up again. Two nights in a row. Nice goin' Jerm. Then tonight me, Chris and Sean went to the cheap theatre and saw Old School, which kicks some serious ass. It's so funny. Somewhere in this weekend I also fit in a trip to the driving range with my dad, where I absolutely killed the ball. I was like the Tiger Woods of the Redwoods Golf Course Driving Range. Okay, maybe not, but I still hit the ball further than usual, although now I have a huge blister on each one of my thumbs. Oh well, that's the price you pay to be great I suppose.

And tomorrow I start yet another temporary job to earn me some more drinking money, coincendentally with the same company I quit just about a month ago. But this time it's not manual labour, it's an office job, and from what I hear, its going to be Slack. Why am I doing this you may ask? Well, you can't spell slacker without 'lack' and what I lack is money.

On a completely un-related topic, Go Ducks!!!

Friday, June 06, 2003

"That commercial is McGay."- Ian, commenting on a terrible McDonald's commercial for something called the McGridle.

"Hey Sean, keep your driving pants on." - Jeremy.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Cheer up, folks!

I've been reading everyone else blogs lately, and I've also been talking to various people on MSN, as I usually do. And from the blogs I've read and the conversations I've had I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be sad/bummed/depressed/mad or just generally unhappy. And it sort of made me sad. Now, I'm not saying people should be happy all the time, but I did notice that most people seem to be sad about generally the same thing. If you don't know what that thing is, check out everyone's recent posts.

You know what? I'm in a similar position but I don't worry about it. I just let things happen. I've stopped worrying so much and now I usually just say "Fuck it." You might think that's stupid but it works, I'm not stressed or depressed (sorry, that was an unfortunate rhyme) and I'm generally in a good state of mind. And I think I'd have good reason to be depressed if I felt like it - I'm single, unemployed, and I'm slowly running out of money. Sad? Hell yes. Does it bother me? Nope.

So in a meagre attempt to make everyone feel better, because that's just the kind of nice guy that I am, here goes:

1)It could always be worse. For example: You could go out for dinner and come back to see your house engulfed in 40 foot high flames because you accidently left a lit cigarette on top of a magazine. Or maybe your brother or sister took a blowtorch to the kitchen table. So what if you're unemployed with no hope for the future, at least you aren't on fire.

2) God is not punishing you. He's punishing everybody. Don't take it personally. You might be alone, but take your head out of the oven and look at everyone else. We are too. It's not that bad.

3) . Good things will happen eventually. Why will they? Because in my experience, they always do. You just gotta trust me on that one.

4) We all like you. Despite the fact that many of us are all in different towns, we're still your friends. (Except for Mike, he hates you.) And as long as you got friends I don't think things can be too terrible. You might think they can be at times, but that just ain't the way it is.

So, in closing, enjoy your summer. Enjoy whatever town it is you are in. And try not to worry so much. Basically, be more like me. Just jokin'.