Monday, June 18, 2007

Well, as Kelsey once predicted, Facebook has done some significant damage to this blog, and the frequency of postings. This is not, however, because like other people, I write everything and post pictures on Facebook instead of here. No, that's not it.

Instead, my problem is I come online determined to great some great post, but instead I get sidetracked searching for people I may have once met and think I should add as my Facebook friend, and the next thing I know, it's 11:30 at night and the last thing I wanna do is write anything. Also, work has been a fucking nightmare for weeks, and all I usually wanna do when I get home is lounge around and then go to bed.

But tonight, like the trooper that I am, I have risen from the dead long enough to post something. I guess I'm not unlike Jesus in that regard.

Anyway...lemme fill ya in on what's been goin' on lately. Couple weekends ago was Ian's 23rd birthday, which turned into a pretty good shaker which included really hot chicken wings, me losing quickly at poker, and me and Bobby kickin' it old school.

Oh, there was also this really fucking terrible standup comedy DVD. This guy right here. And I'm talking completely fucking terrible. My dear sweet Lord I just wanted it to end.

Continuing on with my "I'm not going to drink (much) until Funtastic" plan, I was fully prepared to just knock back a couple Coors Lights at Ian's soiree, but then me and Bob came up with the aforementioned plan, and well...fuck. I left at 'round 2 a.m., with Sean still frantically searching for the beer that he never did find (Which is still quite baffling).

From what I heard later, some people ended up drinking until like 4:00 or 5:00 or 6:00 or something crazy, but Ian gave people the boot from his place 'round 2:30 because they were being too loud.

At least nobody yakked in the sink this time though. Bonus.

Other things of note that have gone on since I posted last: The president of my company called me personally the other day to tell me something I'd done was the best thing he'd ever seen during all his years with the company, ever. Seriously. If you had any doubt about my awesomeness before, it's all gone now.

That's just how fucking good I am.

Also last week, I pulled my best Shoeless Joe Jackson impression by "intentionally" throwing a setup/date. Here's the jist: Friend's wife decided I should be set up with one of her friends. Figured I'd go along with the plan, cuz well, why not? Then, I decided I wasn't interested, but didn't feel like saying anything, because that's just the kind of guy I am - too nice. Also, incredibly lazy.

So the setup occurs when some of us are out at the pub one night. I knew it was happening, so rather than a) be a man and just say 'sorry, not interested' or b) actually try to impress and/or get to know this woman, I did the following:

Didn't have a shower after work. Didn't do my hair. Wore an old hat. Wore some ratty t-shirt which may or may not have had a stain on it. Didn't say more than 15 words all night. Left nearly immediately after wing supply had dwindled.

In my defence, I was exhausted, and just wanted to go home, but still...I've put forth more effort just tying my shoes in the morning.

And while most, if not all of you, are thinking right now that because of my plan, I'm either a) a complete dick, or b) and idiot for not attempting to get some, and thus end this embarassing slump, I will simply say this:

I do not care. And it worked.