Monday, September 13, 2010

"Sweet Fucking Jesus!"

When you get this type of reaction from your girlfriend upon letting loose a hellacious fart, you know you've done a good job.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

:: Louis CK stole my bit ::

I have a memo pad file on my BlackBerry called "jokes." It's where I write down, well, jokes (it's not just a clever name). More accurately, it's where I write down bits I'd use if I was ever to actually to do stand-up comedy.

Now, I may never do it... in fact, it is very unlikely because a) I'm still pretty shy and hate speaking in public, and b) I don't think I'm funny enough. I mean, I think I'm pretty funny, but as Jer once told me - "You're funny, but you aren't standup/joke funny. You're just funny because you have a blog where you write down all the funny shit we do."

Fair 'nuff.

However, I have a file on my phone - and on my computer - nonetheless. And you know what? There's a lot there, and I think it's pretty good. And the other day, likely because Jer and Katie just had a baby (Hank the Tank!) I was thinking about babies. And I got to thinking... why is it that the first time anybody mentions a newborn baby, one of the first questions a person asks is - aside from whether it's a boy or girl, and what its name is - is the baby's weight.

Well, it's because they're fucking babies... they don't have a lot else going on. What is a mother or father going to say about their new son or daughter, if not their weight, sex, and maybe how much they sleep, shit or puke... Anyways, I wrote a pretty good bit about it. It was pretty funny.

And then, last night, while idly flipping channels, I found Louis CK's HBO special, Shameless.... and he had nearly the exact same fucking joke.

And now I can never fucking use it on my eventual road to comedy stardom, all because of a balding, 40-year-old ginger who is quasi to moderately famous, and guest stars on shows like Parks and Recreation when he isn't busy talking about handjobs said it first.

You know, if I had my HBO special first, this never would've happened.