Sunday, January 30, 2005

What a great fucking Sunday.

First, my computer dies, and I've lost basically every photo I've ever taken with my digital camera, not to mention a healthy list of phone numbers, all my saved emails, all my email addresses, and every stupid photo/song/miscelaneous item Mike has ever sent me through msn. Which is just shitty.

I need to get a new hard drive, which will definitely not be cheap. Not cheap at all.

However, I can probably afford to fix my computer because I'm no longer going to Europe, because Mike doesn't want to go anymore. I'm fairly angry about this, and that's all I'll say for risk of putting my foot in my mouth later. Besides, I'm not going to get into a public shit-flinging argument with anybody, especially a friend, because that's just not cool.

The only thing that really sucks is that I have a grand total of two days to re-book my two weeks of holidays at work. And I have no idea where I'll go or who I'll go with, because none of the rest of my friends have any money.

That, and I was REALLY looking forward to that trip.

Fuck this.
:: Toronto, over eggs ::

This morning/early afternoon, I was eating breakfast with my parents, when my dad mentioned he has to go to Toronto in March for some kind of conference. My mom was going to go with him, but I think she's decided to stay home and pick up some extra shifts at the hospital while they're still available.

So, in her place, I decided that I'll take 3 days off work and go with my Dad to TO. Then I'll still have 2 weeks holidays for Europe in May, and two more remaining days for Merritt in July. Those are my plans, and I must say they are awesome. I have never been back East before - except when I was really little and we visited my grandparents when they lived in Montreal. But I remember virtually nothing of that trip, save for the fact that I fell off my bed while sleeping and cracked my head open on the base board heater.

So, these are plans for wandering around town while my dad is in boring meetings about trees:

1. Go to the Hockey Hall of Fame
2. Go to the top of the CN Tower
3. Wander aimlessly and see what kind of troube I can get into. *

That's really all I have scheduled. Hall of Fame is obviously the most important, since I've wanted to go there for years.

*Mike, if you still have that garden gnome from Newfoundland, you should send it to me so he can also see the sights and sounds of Greater Toronto.
"If it's such a small world why don't I ever run into Batman?" - Gorski, on knowing people.

Me: Fuck, that kid owes us some money then too.
Ian: Nah, he's schizophenic.
Me: Seriously?
Ian: yeah, he really is.
Me: Okay, they he's paying twice.

"I was born without testicles - I have implants....I should've asked for bigger ones." - Bucholtz.

"Give 'im the side hammer!" - Jenna. (for those not in the know, the side hammer is a punch to the ear...apparently)

"I wish I was gay. It'd make things so much easier." - Bucholtz

"If I headbutt a girl is that bad?" - Bucholtz, on fighting back.

"You know what? I'd totally do his sister." - Ian, tanked. I'll leave you to guess who's sister he's talking about. (should be easy, since not many of us who were out Friday night have sisters)

Friday, January 28, 2005

"What do I look like, a change machine?" - Jenna

Sean: I saw you driving down 96th today.
Nick: I saw you too. I was gonna wave, but then, well, I decided not to.
Sean: Yeah, that's understandable. If I saw me driving down the road, I'd probably finger myself...
Sean: the ass.

And that's when I stopped talking to Sean.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

"I am magical with my words but I am also a thing of beauty." - Ian, after being told his face was no longer in this blog's main picture, but that his phrase, Classic Times, was being used as the new title.

Crackerweasel - Ian's word of the day.

Yup, a few minor changes to the site. Ditched the old square pic that was on the left, and replaced it with the big graphic you see at the top of the page. Also, the blog's name is obviously different.

Monday, January 24, 2005

:: We're talking Homer, Ozzie and the Straw... ::

The holes in the roster are being filled. New players are being recruited. Different jerseys are being ordered.

And Chris is frantically looking for his balls.

That's softballs, people.

Yup, it is nearly that time again. Slo-pitch time. There are lots of people who don't like slo-pitch much, but I do. And the much-maligned Cannons will once again hit the field at McLeod Park. Hopefully, we can actually win some games this year and avoid last year's uh...slump.

There is, you see, a very good reason why the Cannons site - made while I was stuck up in Peace River - didn't get updated past May.

We lost, that's why. We lost bad. Like 20 games in a row kind of bad. It was ugly. Crammed in between all those L's were the following things: Yelling at umpires, yelling at the other team, yelling at each other, threatening umpires...well you get the idea.

This year though, we've decided to smarten up a tad. I don't think there will be as much yelling or jackass-ery this year because it was kind of embarrassing. Also I think a lot of teams really hate us because of it (fuck them, though).

But we definitely don't like to lose.

The season is still about a month and a half away, but I felt like blogging about it now anyway, since a series of league meetings and organizing have got me in the mood. Chris and Jeremy are still the coaches, and, because I've helped organize a bit of stuff (not to mention maintained the team's outstanding, yet completely unnecessary, website) me and Jer decided I should get a title too, so I'm now the Assistant Junior Vice President of Baseball Operations.

Maybe I should get business cards made up. (Can't be any worse than the business card I have at work from Bucholtz that says he's a mathlete/badass).

Anyway, there are a few changes this year. For starters, we're probably getting new jerseys and possibly might get sponsored by Slapshots, our local watering hole. Also, some players are gone:
Mike, who quit halfway through because he says we didnt like him; Nikki, who didnt pay her damn money anyway then moved to Vancouver. Justin's gone too, since he barely showed up. Also, Jenn and Tara are not playing this year, leaving us scrambling a bit to find girls to replace them (we have to have four girls in the lineup at all times). Jenna nabbed a good player from her old fastpitch team, so that's good, and Steph will also play full-time, so we're still on the lookout for one more. We aren't going to replace the guys since we already had too much sausage on the team anyway.

Unfortunately, our most hated opponents (the dickwads at Redwood Plastics) are out of the league because they missed a meeting. Too bad, because their fat bitch of a 1st baseman sure was entertaining. Also, we'll be without the antics of their home-run hitting, too-tight shorts wearing shortstop. Boo hoo.

So that's our season preview. When the time comes I will actaully update the team's website with new players etc, just because I still have a lot of spare time on my hands and it's kind of fun. Hopefully this year will be better than last.

Maybe we can shorten up that losing streak to 19.

Saturday, January 22, 2005


Why I've been cold for 22 years

Anyone who has known me for most of my life - people like Chris, Ian, or Jer - know that, from time to time, I complain. Okay, so I complain a lot. Big deal.

One of the things I've whined about over the years is that my bedroom is always so God damn cold. And this time, my complaints are warranted-really, they are. My room's been the coldest one in the house ever since we built the place in 1986. It's ice-chilled in the winter; scorching in summer. And when you subtract the parts of two years I lived in Kamloops, and 8 months in Peace River, I've froze in that room for 22 years, give or take. This week I found out why.

I used to always blame the extreme temperatures on the fact that my room is above the uninsulated garage, which probably played a part. However, my mom informed me the other day that, for the first time since 1986 my dad replaced the filter in the furnace. Now, at first that didn't seem like a big deal. "How often are you supposed to change 'em?" I asked.

"About every year." Yes, every year.

Before this week, my dad had just been cleaning the filter periodically, rather than replacing it. He said that's what you are supposed to do, despite the fact that "REPLACEMENT FURNACE FILTERS" are readily available at various stores. If they didn't need replacing, then why would they sell them? After all, they've yet to put a "Furnace filter cleaning kit" on the marketplace. (Maybe my dad can patent one!)

Well, I figured that I'd give my dad the benefit of the doubt on this one. Maybe these filters were really expensive or something.

Or maybe not.

A replacement filter costs $2.99.Yup, three bucks.I found more than that when I cleaned out my car the other day for Christ's sake.

I've been cold for over two decades because my dad wouldn't pony up three dollars. That's a toonie and and loonie. The change you get when you pay for a Crossword scratch-and-win with a $5 bill.

12 quarters.

I haven't let him forget it all week.

"It's not because I'm cheap, I just didn't think it was necessary," is my dad's defence. Sadly, I believe him.

So now our house is considerably warmer, especially my room. Soon maybe I can take the plastic, heat-insulating wrap off my windows-which is what we had resorted to this year after I refused to once again freeze through the month of December.

Oh yeah, that plastic wrap? It cost more that $2.99.

Monday, January 17, 2005

So Mike wants a blog to read whilst he slacks at work.

Yep, I've been called out by a guy who's very own blog was AWOL for the final 8 months of 2004. I'll leave you to find the irony on your own.

Anyhoo, here's what's been goin' on.

Since Jan. 1 I decided to slowly get into shape. Not great shape, mind you, but better shape than I'm currently in. Right now my 'shape' is pretty round. So since the start of the year I cut out all fast food, and for the most part, pop. It's only been a few weeks but I think it actaully might be working. It's not exactly working like it did 3 years ago when I went to the gym 5-days a week, but it's working nonetheless, and I feel fairly good about that.

What's important though, is that I not call this a "New Year's Resolution." The reason that's important is because a) I think New Year's resolutions are stupid, and b) I've never kept a New Year's resolution in my whole life.

So this isn't some fly-by-night, grand-plan resolution. It's just a thing that I'm doing. If it works, then great. If not, well then fuck it. It's not like I'll be breaking my New Year's resolution right?

Also, in the past month or so me and the guys have been playing football every Sunday. It's been awesome so far, and the turnout has been pretty good. We usually get 6-8 guys out, and the best game was in the snow two weekends ago. Oddly enough, this past Sunday we had 12 people - and it was shitty weather. The constant rain had turned the snow to ankle-deep slush, and it was an ugly game, indeed. Guys sliding in puddles, slipping on torn-up grass. It was stilll fun though, especially since I caught a TD pass, which doesn't happen that much, since my motto on offence isn't "Go Deep" but rather "I'll be the short option."

Running is for suckers anyway.

Went to Roosters last Saturday for Jen's birthday. The night got off to a rough start when it started snowing and it took me well over an hour just to get to Maple Ridge, but things got better quick, thanks in large part to alcohol. Ahh, sweet beer.

At the end of the night though, the stupidest thing happened. Well, two stupid things happened. The first being that Dave, who wasn't even drunk, got sick from mixing cold medicine and beer, and ended up puking over a fence. The second thing was that every food joint in town seemed to be out of food. I wasn't eating fast food (see above) but all I wanted was a bagel from Tim Hortons. Another guy wanted a chocolate chip muffin.

"I'm sorry, we're out of bagels and muffins."

Listen up Tim Hortons. Bagels and muffins are two of the biggest things you serve! How the hell are you out of those? That's like McDonalds being out of hamburgers. Ridiculous right?

Well, McDonalds was indeed out of burgers. How the fuck does that happen? I mean, I know it was 2 o'clock in the morning, but if you're gonna be open 24-hours, don't you think it'd be wise to be able to actually sell something during all those hours? Who the hell is going to go to McDonalds in the middle of the night just for a glass of ice water and a packet of McChicken sauce?

Besides us, of course.

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Regardless of how somebody's year has gone, at this time of year I usually hear people say the same thing: "I hope this new year is better than the last one."

I don't know why that is really - I mean, everyone couldn't possibly have had shitty years all at once could've they? Sure there are some rough years for everybody, and there are some of my friends who've actually had fairly tough years, for a variety of reasons, and to them, I say "I hope 2005 sucks less than '04". For me, though, 2004 will be a tough year to top.

For starters, the biggest, most significant thing that happened to me was that I got the hell out of the north in only eight months. And not only did I get out of the north, I ended up at a fairly large paper at home, which, realistically, shouldn't have happened. Getting a gig like the one I've got so early on is a pretty rare thing, and I'll be the first to tell you I'm pretty lucky to have snagged it. Of course, I like to think it's because I'm the greatest sports reporter in the history of the printed word, but let's face it, lady luck had a fair bit to do with it too.

On the topic of having a new job, I've managed to save an assload of money because of it, which means I can do all the stuff I'd eventually planned to do - go on some nice trips, buy a house etc..

There's other stuff too - generally 2004 was just a fun year. It was nice to be back home with the group, going camping, drinking and all that stuff. Stuff that I didn't think I'd get the chance to do so soon.

Considering how 2004 started for me - with me and Melissa stranded beside an icy Peace River freeway in -35 degree weather with no cabs in sight - I'm pretty shocked that things turned out as well as they did. At the time I remember thinking that the year would suck, that I'd be stuck up there in the sticks for the next 20 years, but things worked out better. Now, having that one frozen night doesn't seem too bad (trust me though, it was).

So while most people seem to be saying "This year will be better", you probably won't find me waving that same flag.

Good riddance 2004? I don't know about you, but I'm kinda sorry to see it go.
"I love Chingy, but if I ever saw him on the street I'd punch him in the face." - Gorski

"Pants are for geeks." - Jenna