Sunday, June 26, 2005

I'm not going to write anything about this weekend, because I know i'll either end up with my foot in my mouth, or someone's foot in my ass.

Or quite possibly both.

All I'll say is the last few days have sucked - easily the worst in recent memory.

That's life I guess.

Live and Learn.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

"DE-FAULT, DE-FAULT! The two sweetest words in the English language!" - Homer Simpson

So we had a ball game tonight, at an unusual location -Stafford Secondary - because of some kind of scheduling conflict. Apparently the other team didn't get the memo, so they didn't show - giving us a win by default. Normally that woulda sucked cuz we all wanted to play - but a team in the G2 division (we're D1) played before us, so they stuck around for a rules-be-damned exhibition game.

Not exactly a real intense affair - we didn't always bat in order, we subbed in guys whenever we felt like, I played right field, Kelsey pitched, we drank beer on the field, and at one point we had no left fielder and three guys playing shortstop.

And NO defence was played. If we were keeping score the final woulda been probably 55-40..for us of course. And even though the other team was horrendous on defence, I still went 4-for-5 with two doubles. TWO! Sadly, my first extra base hits of the year.

And, just because I feel like it, I'll end with a Mastercard commercial....

Cost of pack of gum: $1.29

Being back in the #1 spot: Priceless.

It's good at the top.

Monday, June 20, 2005

:: Last Ditch Effort ::

In January, I decided I had had enough of my current out-of-shape state. It has never gotten me anywhere, and I figured it was holding me back from certain things. So I made one minor change: I gave up fast food completely.

It worked, to a certain degree. I lost like 15 pounds between January at May. Not nearly enough, In the last few weeks I started going to the gym, and gave up these additional things: Beer, pretty much any food that's bad for you, and my sanity.

Did I mention beer?

For the first time since I can remember, I've actually been motivated. Very motivated, in fact, for a variety of reasons which I won't get into. Not having a heart attack and dying at like 30 is one reason, but it's by no means near the top of the list.

Basically, I'm tired of people saying "Oh, but he's really nice." or "He's funny."

Funny, nice guys don't get shit. Guys who are in shape do - even if they're pricks. One day I'd like to find that out for myself.

It's been pretty damn difficult giving up all that stuff - you never realize how much shit you ate until you actually don't eat it anymore. But I'm still confident that in the end, it'll be worth it. I don't know if it'll be worth it tomorrow, next month, or a year from now, but eventually I think it will be.

It damn well better anyway - did I mention I gave up beer?

Sunday, June 19, 2005

:: Victory laps and cheap gin ::

"You know what really pisses me off? I didn't start eating potato salad until like a year ago. I missed out on a lot of potato salad eating opportunities." - Kelsey, lamenting 19 years of missed opportunities.

"I'm like one of those guys in the know, soldiers?" - Bucholtz

"It did not get cool until I got here." - Kelsey

"Maybe I'll just not let anyone come over and I'll stay at home and build lego all night." - Ian, on his potential change of plans.

"What do you think is better - having one of those wheelchairs you control with your mouth, or having a big Swedish guy carry you around all day in a giant snuggly?" - Bucholtz

"Or maybe I'll just ride around on a giant hippo." - Bucholtz finds a third option to the above dilemna.

Chris: Where's Jenna?
Buchs: She's inside with Amanda, talking about yarn, or whatever it is girls talk about.

By most accounts, this weekend was a good one. Although it further reaffirms my position that I should not be allowed to have a cell phone while drunk. Too many opportunities for a drunk dial or far-too-truthful text message. I don't necessarily regret it, but sooner or later it'll be a mistake, I'm sure.

Anyway, Friday started off with a phone call from Bucholtz about a half hour before our ball game, at 7:35. He needed a ride. Not because he didn't have a car or anything, but because he was freaking loaded. He got off work at 3 and spent his afternoon drinking free beers with his boss.

Needless to say, he only played an inning of the game before we yanked him. In that time however, he still looked ridiculous by striking out, and pretty much embarrased his family name - with his grandparents in the stands to watch.

It was a really good game, well played and lots of fun. We ended up tying, but we were very close to pulling out a W. Oh well, still better than a loss.

After ball, we parking lotted it for awhile before hitting up the beer store and heading to my place. My normal Friday night beverage would be beer and plenty of it, but I'm actually off beer for awhile, as part of a little plan of mine. Anyway, I decided gin was the way to go.

And it didn't take me very long to get friggin' sloshed. I hadn't wanted to get that drunk, honestly. But the gin really hit me harder than I expected, and I passed out by about 1:30 or so, not before slamming my front door, yelling at Sean, and generally being mad. It didn't turn out to be my best night, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Saturday, I went to the dentist, then patiently waited for people to wake up so I'd have some company. That eventually happened when Chris and Kelsey woke up at like 2 p.m.

It was Harmony's 1st birthday so we went to Danny and Amanda's for awhile for the partay. It was pretty cool, and Little H seemed to have a good time, even with cake all over her face. It was so good in fact, Bucholtz wrote in the 'guest book' type thing that he "Hopes you have lots more birthdays" which is really like saying "I hope you don't die"

How touching.

Anyway, Saturday night was a shaker at Ian's because his 'rents were gone away for a day or two. It too, turned out to be pretty good. I drank some more gin, and, because Bucholtz chickened out, I also drank a small cup full of beer, gin, orange Kool-Aid, and Frank's Red Hot Sauce.

It tasted like puke, but thankfully I didn't hurl. It was a close call though.

The night turned into a marathon, with me and Kels eventually wandering home at 5 a.m. Before heading inside we sat in her car for a few minutes and chatted.

Then we decided a victory lap was in order.

Sunday, I was thinking about doing a bit of work in the morning, but I obviously slept right through that. oops. The fam came over for a Father's Day BBQ in the afternoon and evening, which worried Kelsey because that meant less potato salad for her. My great-uncle Ed was here from Florida too, and he was a little camera happy, which made most of us not. Some people are camera shy, others like myself not very photogenic, and he always wanted people to "snuggle up closer" if he was taking a picture. It was just sort of annoying.

Really, the weekend was not unlike many others though - some booze, lots of fun, and me and Kelsey spending most of the weekend loafing aroun trying to annoy each other and/or hit each other with stuff.

And me generally feeling the same way I do at the end of every Sunday - happy, except for the fact that I know I won't be asleep for a long time yet.

It's 12:20 a.m. already. I'm betting on 3 this time.

Dammit, this has gotta stop.
For the first time since I can remember, I came home from somewhere while it was light outside. Of course, it was just Ian's house, and he lives around the corner, but me and Kels just got home, and it's 5:13 a.m. - do you know how awesome that is?


That is all. I've got lots of quotes from when people (mostly Kyle) were drunk, but I'm too tired to write them out now.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

"The only rally I've ever heard of is the puke-and-rally." - Brad, after someone mentioned how we needed a rally to comeback in our pitiful ball game tonight.

:: Taking my licks ::

Believe it or not, there are times when even I say things that are stupid. Apparently, according to my friends, those things somehow never make it onto my own blog. To them I say, get your own damn blog if you want to post embarrassingly dumb "Nick Moments". Or, if you've got a blog already, then do as you please.

However, just this once, I'll take some of my own medicine.

Today at ball, for some reason talking about small horses...
Kelsey: They're called miniature horses.
Nick: They're called quarter horses aren't they?
Kelsey: Are you kidding me? Quarter horses are like race horses. You thought they were called quarter horses because they were a quarter of the size of a real horse?

(Cue laughing)

What can I say? I don't know a damn thing about horses, and it seemed reasonable at the time. Although now that I think of it, a horse one quarter the size of a regular horse is pretty fucking small.

Also, for good measure, Kelsey, Tara, Brad and some of the other jerks got me pretty good with a keys-locked-in-Kelsey's-car gag last week. They preyed on my good nature and helpfulness, but they still got me.

There, you guys happy now?

Monday, June 13, 2005

I'm posting a little bit out of boredom.

Not a lot went on tonight - Chris and Jenna are out someplace, only Mike's online. I usually spend my free evening loafing around the house and usually talking to either Kelsey or Melissa on msn...neither are around tonight. Weird to actually feel extra bored - it's a Monday night, boredom's usually a given.

Not having anyone to yap at (and annoy) doesn't leave me with much to do at 10 oclock at night.

Tonight is a good example though, of how I've felt as of late. One minute I'm bummed about stuff, then I went to the gym and felt great, then after the adrenaline dropped off, I just felt, well, blah. Pessimistic, just kind of uneasy, paranoid. I hate feeling like that - it doesn't work for me.

I can foresee another sleepless night on the horizon.

In other news, we bought a tent trailer for Merritt yesterday. It's a real beauty - the best trailer $260 can get ya. I'll post some pictures when we open 'er up tomorrow. We drove it home from Mission last night with no lights and no insurance. We had to be sneaky.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

***EDIT: There are some people who read my blog who don't know me very well, or at all really. They know 'of' me through other people, and I think it's pretty cool that they read this blog actually - it just re-affirms my awesomeness.

However, since these people don't know me that well, I feel I should clarify something about myself: I exxagerate a lot for comic affect - and usually it works. But things aren't always as over-the-top as they seem. That goes for quotes and photos alike. I take things out of context because it amuses me - no other reason.

Anyway, I just felt that needed to be said, so people don't think we're all a bunch of alcoholic lushes. Well, enjoy reading, and thanks for stoppin' by.

"If it was up to me I wouldn't even have feet." - Kelsey

"I have rocket boobs." - Kelsey, again.

"When I'm rich I'm going to have an underground shuttle system that goes right from my house to the mall...Or maybe i'll just get a time machine." - Kelsey (Completely sober).

"Let's buy cocks. Big hairy cocks." - Bucholtz, talking about getting some roosters and starting up a cockfighting tournament.

"BET is bullshit. If I started a white man's T.V. network there's no friggin' way that would work. They already have UPN what the fuck else do they want?" - Bucholtz, in fine form.

After Ian's birthday shaker Friday night, I didn't know how much of a wild shindig Saturday night would be, especially after Kelsey told me Saturday afternoon that she wouldn't be drinking, because she had to drive home later that night and stay with Rocky so he wouldn't be by himself.

Of course, Kelsey not drinking on a Saturday night is just a little too unnatural for my liking, so I came up with a solution: Just bring the dog out here.

Problem solved.

There were still a few other hurdles. Sean wasn't feeling too hot after Friday, and I since I had just spent an hour and a half at the dentist that morning (getting my gums cut apart...I bled all over the place), I wasn't in prime party-mode either. I quickly changed that by getting some beer and just drinking it anyways. Between the lack of food I'd ate (mouth frozen of course) and the half a bottle of Tylenol i'd downed, I was a pretty cheap drunk.

After returning from the (Evil, evil) dentist, the afternoon was a pretty good one. I came in the door to find Chris and Kels in the kitchen. In the odd course of Friday night, Kelsey had lost her phone (Ian had it), and one contact lens. Probably made for a fun drive home.

So while Kelsey squinted her way home, me and Chris headed out to Maple Ridge to check out a cheap $200 tent trailer for Merritt. We don't expect much for $200, but we still expect more than the duct-taped, torn to shit, mouldy as hell, gross trailer we went out there to see. And don't even get us started on the owner of the thing, he was a piece of work - dumbest guy ever.

So we came home without our trailer, ate some chili then me, Sean and Kelsey had some beers. Eventually most of the rest of the crew showed up, and Kelsey got the brilliant idea to play Moose. Not her finest plan, because she ended up getting her ass kicked EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME. So guess who was drunkest?

Now, a drunk Kelsey is usually quite the show. And Saturday was a violent show - she got hold of a sharpie marker and drew on me and Sean (but she got it too). I also was on the receiving end of about 10 punches to the face, FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER. And you claim to be nice to me..Bah!

To see two pictures of the Sharpie fight, click here and here.

To see what kind of shape Kelsey was in as the night progressed, click here.

By about 1 a.m. things start to get a little fuzzy - although I do remember Sean's step-sister and her stupid friends rining my damn doorbell at 1 a.m. Then I yelled at them and slammed the door in their face. Sean tried to make me feel bad about it, since it was his sister, but I didn't care at all. It was funny and they deserved it. What was also funny was Chris giving wrong directions to one of the girls so she ended up in the garage when she wanted to be in the bathroom.

As for the rest of the evening, I don't recall a lot because I passed out on the couch (just after Kelsey, who was the first passed out). I woke up at 4 a.m., lying awkwardly on the couch with Kelsey's foot practically right in my face. Then I went to bed.

Just to top off the weekend, we went out for breakfast this morning and being the prick that he is, Jeremy stuck my hat in a newspaper box and I had no money to get it back out. Thankfully Katie had $1.50 in change or it would probably still be in there.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

:: Ian's Birthday ::

What a weird night. Combination anger, sadness, confusion, mixed with usual drunkeness - for a lot of people, not me necessarily.

Strange indeed.

Regardless, happy birthday Forbesy.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

:: Anger and other observations ::

Nothing angers me more than bad drivers. I just want to fucking throttle 'em.

Tonight, on the drive home from Brown Rd Park - from our rained out baseball game (I'll get to it in a minute) - I got tailgated by some prick in a light brown Dodge Intrepid.

The Whole Fucking Way Home.

Now, normally I can deal with minor tailgating, because I probably do it a little bit myself. But this fucker was unbelievable. His car was so far up my ass I could barely see his headlights.

And it's not like I was going slow - I was going a steady 80-85 so I was speeding already - and it was raining and dark, to boot. Anyway, this retard then gets the bright idea to fall back a bit and then speed up. I don't know if he was trying to scare me, but it didn't work. I just did what any angry, road-raged person would do.

I slammed on my brakes. Hard. For no reason. Repeatedly.

Sure, I'm a bit of a prick, but I didn't care. I was just waiting for him to smash into me, but he didn't. So we got back into Grove, where the road turns to 2-lanes. Red light. Beautiful. I got in the left, he went in the right.

Sure enough, 40-year-old douchebag starts yapping at me, so I gave him some back. Then he actually opened his car door, and looked like he was going to get out of his car. Then I told him "If you take one more step out of that car I'm going to smash your head right through your fucking windshield."

Then he got back in, turned right at the light, and was gone.

Nick 1. Douchebag 0.

Angry note #2: Our ball game was cancelled.

Yes, it was raining fairly hard at 8:20 when the ump apparently decided to call it. However, our game didn't start til 8:55. By then, it wasn't raining nearly as hard. Sure the field was a bit slick, but it definitely was playable - no big mud pits or anything like that.

To make matters worse, the game at the diamond right next to us went ahead as planned.

I guess it wasn't raining as hard over there. Either that, or their umpire wasn't as much of a pussy as ours.

And one more thing before I go... (don't worry, this isn't anger, just an observation I made on the way home)

I sometimes wonder how good of friends I really am with some people. That's not to say I don't like any of my current friends - that'd be ridiculous. I'm not even saying they don't like me. I just mean that I sometimes think I'm closer with some people than I actually am.

If I didn't make the phone calls, or say "Hey lets do something" I just wonder if we'd ever do anything at all. It's just weird, and it kinda sucks when you think you're really good friends with somebody.

It's still worth the effort on my part, and I'm not angry or anything, it's just something I realized. I just don't want to feel like that charity case friend. You know, the "Oh, Nick's calling again. I better go hang out with him" kind of person.

I can't be that guy, because people like Jarrett already are. I figured I was higher up the totem pole than that - With some people anyway. Chances are I'm reading way too much into things (I tend to do that ALOT) but it'd just be nice if somebody else picked up a phone once in awhile. Somebody who actually wanted to do something, and not just because I was badgering them.

Sunday, June 05, 2005


This weekend I did nothing.

For the first weekend in a long, long time, I didn't do anything this weekend. No drunken stories. No crazy antics of me or any of my friends.


I didn't drink this weekend, which I suppose may be news itself. I had a grand total of half a beer Friday, and a bellini Saturday when me and Melissa went out for dinner (Which was good, so I guess I did do one fun thing this weekend).

I worked late Friday. Then worked Saturday and again Sunday morning. When I came home Saturday everyone was here watching UFC pay-per-view, but since I couldn't care less about UFC, I didn't watch much - instead I read Rolling Stone and text-messaged back-and-forth with Kelsey, who was working on her fifth bottle of Boone's at the time. Then everyone left to go find something to do, and I went to bed.

I don't even have any good quotes to post.