***EDIT: There are some people who read my blog who don't know me very well, or at all really. They know 'of' me through other people, and I think it's pretty cool that they read this blog actually - it just re-affirms my awesomeness.
However, since these people don't know me that well, I feel I should clarify something about myself: I exxagerate a lot for comic affect - and usually it works. But things aren't always as over-the-top as they seem. That goes for quotes and photos alike. I take things out of context because it amuses me - no other reason.
Anyway, I just felt that needed to be said, so people don't think we're all a bunch of alcoholic lushes. Well, enjoy reading, and thanks for stoppin' by.
"If it was up to me I wouldn't even have feet." - Kelsey
"I have rocket boobs." - Kelsey, again.
"When I'm rich I'm going to have an underground shuttle system that goes right from my house to the mall...Or maybe i'll just get a time machine." - Kelsey (Completely sober).
"Let's buy cocks. Big hairy cocks." - Bucholtz, talking about getting some roosters and starting up a cockfighting tournament.
"BET is bullshit. If I started a white man's T.V. network there's no friggin' way that would work. They already have UPN what the fuck else do they want?" - Bucholtz, in fine form.
After Ian's birthday shaker Friday night, I didn't know how much of a wild shindig Saturday night would be, especially after Kelsey told me Saturday afternoon that she wouldn't be drinking, because she had to drive home later that night and stay with Rocky so he wouldn't be by himself.
Of course, Kelsey not drinking on a Saturday night is just a little too unnatural for my liking, so I came up with a solution: Just bring the dog out here.
Problem solved.
There were still a few other hurdles. Sean wasn't feeling too hot after Friday, and I since I had just spent an hour and a half at the dentist that morning (getting my gums cut apart...I bled all over the place), I wasn't in prime party-mode either. I quickly changed that by getting some beer and just drinking it anyways. Between the lack of food I'd ate (mouth frozen of course) and the half a bottle of Tylenol i'd downed, I was a pretty cheap drunk.
After returning from the (Evil, evil) dentist, the afternoon was a pretty good one. I came in the door to find Chris and Kels in the kitchen. In the odd course of Friday night, Kelsey had lost her phone (Ian had it), and one contact lens. Probably made for a fun drive home.
So while Kelsey squinted her way home, me and Chris headed out to Maple Ridge to check out a cheap $200 tent trailer for Merritt. We don't expect much for $200, but we still expect more than the duct-taped, torn to shit, mouldy as hell, gross trailer we went out there to see. And don't even get us started on the owner of the thing, he was a piece of work - dumbest guy ever.
So we came home without our trailer, ate some chili then me, Sean and Kelsey had some beers. Eventually most of the rest of the crew showed up, and Kelsey got the brilliant idea to play Moose. Not her finest plan, because she ended up getting her ass kicked EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME. So guess who was drunkest?
Now, a drunk Kelsey is usually quite the show. And Saturday was a violent show - she got hold of a sharpie marker and drew on me and Sean (but she got it too). I also was on the receiving end of about 10 punches to the face, FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER. And you claim to be nice to me..Bah!
To see two pictures of the Sharpie fight, click here and here.
To see what kind of shape Kelsey was in as the night progressed, click here.
By about 1 a.m. things start to get a little fuzzy - although I do remember Sean's step-sister and her stupid friends rining my damn doorbell at 1 a.m. Then I yelled at them and slammed the door in their face. Sean tried to make me feel bad about it, since it was his sister, but I didn't care at all. It was funny and they deserved it. What was also funny was Chris giving wrong directions to one of the girls so she ended up in the garage when she wanted to be in the bathroom.
As for the rest of the evening, I don't recall a lot because I passed out on the couch (just after Kelsey, who was the first passed out). I woke up at 4 a.m., lying awkwardly on the couch with Kelsey's foot practically right in my face. Then I went to bed.
Just to top off the weekend, we went out for breakfast this morning and being the prick that he is, Jeremy stuck my hat in a newspaper box and I had no money to get it back out. Thankfully Katie had $1.50 in change or it would probably still be in there.
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