*Rambling, incoherent post ahead. You have been warned.
For the last week or so, I've felt really good. Not that I'm particularly happier (I'm in a good mood most of the time anyhow), but I just feel....different.
I realized this last night when I was talking to my uncle in Edmonton. He called me last night, and I guess my mom had told him about last Sunday when i punched the guy at the hockey game. Now, my uncle Dan is the awesomest guy around, and we're pretty close even though he lives far away. He's also a lawyer, and I suppose because of this he's obligated to try and get people to do the right thing. He's also a really nice guy, and certainly not an aggressive person (good thing too, cuz he could kick some serious ass I bet, he's a big guy).
Anyway, he kind of gave me the business for punching him, about how technically it's assault and all that stuff. He wasn't very impressed with me, and as much as I didn't really like getting a lecture about it, he's right. I listened to him because my uncle is a smart guy and a guy I respect the hell out of, but I'm still happy I did it.
I told him I did it because I was sick of being a doormat for 23 years. Originally I said it because it sounded like a good excuse that might get me off the hook, then I realized that I really have been a doormat for 23 years: I'm a passive person, I don't fight back much, and I don't say what I mean a lot of the time, and (other than my career) I rarely go hard after things that I want. Instead I just wait, expecting things to just happen on their own.
I decided that I'm not going to do that anymore. No more doormat. No more any of that shit. If I want something I'm going after it. And if somebody else already has what I want, I'm gonna try and take it from them.
To quote my good friend Patty P, everyone can just "Get the fuck outta my shit."*
* I know it's a stretch to make that quote work in this context, but we've all been laughing at it all weekend long, so I'm using it.
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