:: The Weekend, work, and extra large cheques ::

Well, it was a hell of a weekend, I'll say that. A hell of an expensive one, but a hell of a fun one too. Very fun.

I already went into detail about Friday night on a previous post, but Saturday was the real crazy night. Seven of us - me, Chris, Ian, Gorski, Jenna, Scott and Pat took a limo downtown to the Plaza Club for Jenna's birthday, which was the preceding Monday. We had been chugging beer (and Scott a mickey of vodka) on the drive down, so we were all pretty hammed when we got there. Pretty very hammed.

Once inside, I met some old buddies of mine I used to work with at Dams who I hadn't seen in about 3 years, so it was cool to see them for a bit. Now, as for the rest of the night, I'll break it down for you right quick:

- Pat and Scotty got shot down by numerous women (although P got one number)
- Gorski got loaded and wandered outside into an alley behind Granville St. and puked on a stack of phone books before giving his cell # to a homeless guy
- Ian got kicked out of the place at about 1:30 after he puked all over the place
- Sean and his girlfriend briefly showed up although I barely remember
- I don't remember seeing much of Chris or Jenna. In fact, I don't remember a whole lot about anything that went on inside the bar - I just sat and drank.

Quite a night. Quite a night indeed.

Work: "It's nice to finally have someone else in the office who watched the same shows as I did when I was a kid." - Steve

Today was a decent day at work - for a monday. Me and Steve realized that some of our recent conversations have been pretty weird - we've talked about Fraggles, Optimus Prime, and what the name of the bad Decepticon Transformer was (I finally remembered it was Megatron). Everyone else in the office thinks we're idiots, but they're all too old to remember any good '80's, early '90's stuff like that. He's 25 and I'm 23. The next closest person is 32. They're all old farts.

In other work related news, due to some backpay I was owed, I got the biggest paycheque I've ever got before in my life. It was sweet. I like money.

Well, despite it's initial problems, tonight turned out to be pretty fun. Me, Chris, Jenna, Danny and Pat sat in the backyard with a fire and drank beer - although Jenna, then Pat, called it a night earlier/passed out. But after that was actually the funnest part. There's a guy -Kyle- who's lived at the end of my street for the past 16 or so years - he's a year older than me and when we were younger we never really got along that well. In the past few years though, I've seen him around at bars and we get along pretty good. Well, tonight him and his buddy wandered up the road and hung out at the fire with us, where we spent a bunch of time catching up on people we knew in high school - some his grade, some mine. As it turns out, some of 'em have led rather colourful lives....

- One of them turned into a pretty good speed skater, moved to Calgary, and actually dated Olympian Catriona Lemay-Doan for awhile before she married some cowboy.

- One guy, who I played hockey with for years and was extremely good friends with in elementary school, and saw as recently as a year ago, is apparently a porn star.

- One guy, who I was good friends with in elementay school, got expelled from/dropped out of my high school due do certain problems (ie: wrong crowd) but now he's a linebacker for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. This didn't come as a surprise to me - I already knew, but it's a sharp contrast from porn star.

- One guy, who I didn't know (except the name sounded familiar) but Kyle did, moved to L.A. after high school graduation and became a drug dealer down there. He got busted and is currently serving a 7-year stretch in some California prison. He must almost be out by now though.

Those are the notables, but there were plenty more. Kind of weird when you think about it actually - I mean, porn stars and L.A drug busts? A little extreme for some Canadian suburbanites, don't ya think?

The egos amongst my Walnut Grove friends is just fuckin ridiculous, and quite frankly, I'm getting god damn sick of it.

Nobody will do anything unless it's a plan that they themselves have come up with because everyone thinks their plans are so much better than everyone elses. Take tonight for example, for the past week and a bit I've said today we were getting a bunch of beer and having a party on the new patio. Okay, everyone says.

Now, in the 45 minutes since I've left work, everyone's decided they are going to The Mirage, some dress-code bar in Surrey, because thats' a better idea. And of course, the usual people follow along. So whichever one of you fuckers came up with the Mirage plan when you knew damn well I was having a party, you can just go fuck yourself - And you know who you are. All you followers can go fuck yourselves too.

The last month my friends have pissed me off so much it's not even funny - sometimes it really makes me wonder why I stick around.

"We should just sell out and be called Coca-Cola University...The choice of a new education." - Silv, discussing new names for UCC once it becomes a university.

I actually thing that "Choice of..." slogan was Pepsi's, but I'll give Silv the benefit of the doubt because it was funny.

VICTORY IS MINE!

After many delays, and a fair amount of stress on my part, the job is mine. For good.

'bout fuckin' time.

:: Ian Strikes Out...Again ::

"I don't know what I did this time. I remember her saying 'Your drunk' and I said 'Yeah, so?' then I must've said something that wasn't the smartest thing to say, because she turned away."

"When I'm drunk I grab more things than I do when I'm sober."

"It's like I went to the store for the full-size pillsbury pizza and only came home with the minis."

Poor Ian, fucks up his chance again. And too think, he could've been camping instead.

"If Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was re-created in this day and age and they set it in Surrey, there'd be cops surrounding that house in 15 seconds and social services wouldn't be far behind." -'A', a co-worker, concerned about 7 "creepy, vertically challenged guys" living with one hot, young teenage girl.

Rob: So, Canada finally won a medal eh?
Nick: What'd they win in?
Rob: Oh I don't know, some ridiculous made-up event. I think it was the 'Synchronized diving for quadripeligic athletes whose mothers were anemic' event.
Nick: Ah, a real classic.
Rob: Yeah, I hear four people were there to see it.

Tomorrow I should find out about my job once-and-for-all. Or, if not tomorrow, then Wednesday at the latest. I swear to God this has been the most fucked up 3 weeks. At this point, it's all so damn sad that I don't even care one way or the other. Just gimme the job, or don't. Either way I'd just like to know what the hell's going on. I'll either stay gainfully employed, or I'll fuck off to Mexico or someplace for awhile.

Or maybe I'll try and become a stand-up comic just to prove to Jeremy that I could do it, since he insists that I'm not "stand-up comedy" kind-of funny.

*P.S: This was my 300th post on this blog. Hooray!

"I'm like Jesus except it's only deeper," - Lorne, walking through, not on, water.

"Punk ass kids!" - Melissa, after Chad, the "King of the Thompson River" came around looking to bum smokes.

"I haven't been this upset since the credits came on at the end of The Never-ending Story," - Dale, upset about false advertising.

Well I haven't arrived back from my weekend jaunt to Kamloops, and I return with no sunburn, and a liver in slightly worse shape than before I went. It was great to see everyone. It was not great to sleep in Melissa's living room - with the 50 degree heat. Holy Fuck was it hot. H-O-T. No breeze of any kind to speak of either. But it was still good.

Friday was sweet, I got pretty loaded. Passed out on the couch. It kicked ass. Saturday would've been much of the same, but we spent the day at the beach, and were all suffering from heat exhaustion I think. At 1 a.m. we went down the street to Denny's just because it was air-conditioned.

I have noticed though that we don't drink nearly as much as we used to. I figure we're just getting old, and everytime I go to Kamloops I do my best to get people in a crazy, drinking and partying mood, but it usually doesn't work. One day though, I hope it does - just once and I'll stop trying.

Hopefully, work schedule permitting, I'll be back up in a month or so for Melissa's birthday. For that occasion, I garauntee (sic) you I won't have to do much to rile up the troops. It'll be a gong-show, for sure.

"The graphics are up! As sure as the sun sets in the West, as sure as there will always be an England, the graphics are up!" - Jeremy, from Sports Night.

That's right, folks. After much procrastination and lack of webpage knowledge (and an unwillingness to gain any knowledge) on my part, the pictures are up and online at www.nick.swapphotos.net

I probably owe some thanks to Mike for giving me the space on the swapphotos site, and also for putting up with my incessant droning - "Is it done yet? Is it done yet?" I'd offer more gratitude had it been anyone other than Mike, because it's Mike, he only gets minimal thanks because, well, he's a jerk.

A link to the photos along the left hand side of this blog has also been added.

Let the rejoicing begin!

:: Some notes ::

1. I've decided when I blog about my job, I'm only going to use initials for people. I fear Google. Alan Bass once found my site, and I don't want 'R' to do the same.

1. I learned the following things at work today:
a) Everyone in the editorial department thinks the way I've been treated in this whole job situation is disgusting.
b) With that in mind, on Friday after I left, one reporter, 'S', tried to convince others to go talk to 'R' and tell him they'd better keep me or else.
c) It's widely known and discussed throughout the office, apparently, that 'A' (old sports reporter) is trying to screw me around behind the scenes because she's extremely threatened by me because I'm a much, much better writer than she is. That's not me bragging either - this is what I was told today.
d) Nobody likes or respects 'A'. Everyone likes me.

2. Also, speaking of work, a fellow reporter told me today that everyone thinks that me and 'S' are the two best writers in the office, and are two of the best young writers in the whole company. ('S' is only 25.) That was nice to hear.

3. I never have to work weekends and two weeks from now we were going camping for Jenna's birthday. Of course, just to kick me in the ass, I have to work that weekend for ONE FUCKING HOUR, thus killing my camping plans. What a kick to the groin that is.

4. I've posted every day for most of this week now. EVERY. DAY. And Al thought he was so great with his once a month routine.

5. Mike, hurry up and get your blog online. I like having blogs to read. Especially ones that are updated consistently. Speaking of consistently updated blogs, I've got to hand it to Melissa, I didn't think you'd keep it up - usually the novelty of blogs wears off quickly (see: Low, Meghan).

6. My photos site should have been up by now, but the the ftp server is acting inexplicably weird, and things aren't getting uploaded properly for some reason. Hopefully soon though.

7. I apologize for this being the second 'list' blog of the week.

Celebrities taking over as journalists
Oh good, maybe Rob can hire one of them to replace me....

On that note, "my" job posting closes on Thursday. My boss said that most resumes he's got start out like "I have no experience but I love to write..." so it does look brighter for me. What doesn't look bright is that said boss is an unpredictable fool.
With that in mind...

Reasons I'd like to keep my job:

1. I like money and getting paid $20/hour is nice.
2. I won't have to move.
3. I won't even have to consider moving. We all know what happened the last time I was forced to consider it.
4. At the rate I'm going, with my current job, I'll have enough to buy a townhouse in Walnut Grove in a year or two.
5. I got bills to pay. And I'd like to keep my car.
6. Being unemployed is lame. It's only fun in the summer (like last year) when there's camping etc to do. If I was jobless in November all I'd do is watch Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns on TBS and eat pie.
7. mmmm.....pie.

Reasons I don't care if I'm fired:

1. Sleeping in
2. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns
3. EI
4. I have enough cash that I could go on a vacation for once. I'd head to Mexico the first chance I got.
5. I could do whatever I wanted to, and visit my friends as much as I feel like.
6. Speaking of which, plane tickets to Calgary are only $69 right now.
7. Hahaha, 69.
8. No more putting up with idiot, self-absorbed, arrogant co-workers.

Reasons I made this list:
1. I'm bored.
2. I like lists.

FINALLY!

After a much-too-long-wait, Seinfeld will soon be out on DVD. Each set is $50, but it's one thing I'd probably blow a whole bunch of money on all at once.

:: The Invisible Friend ::

*warning: Angry Rant Ahead

I've mentioned this in earlier post, but nothing pisses me off more than "friends" who NEVER fuckin' pick up a phone. Right now it's 9:40 p.m. on a Saturday - I should be drinking right now, or doing something cool, but I'm not because nobody ever includes me in any plans. I don't want this to sound like a whiny "nobody likes me" speech, because it's more of a "screw you douchebags" kind of speech.

I know people are busy tonight - Chris and Jenna are at a concert and some people are at the fireworks, which I don't like, so that's fine. But it's become very clear to me that unless I pick up a phone, nobody ever calls to say "Hey lets do (insert activity here)."

Take today, I called Ian three fucking times and each time it was "oh I don't know what I'm doing i'll call ya and let you know." Fine. But if you're gonna call me, then fucking call me. I haven't had an unsolicited phone call from Ian since April. And this is one of my best friends who Ive known for 15 years who called me pretty much every day last summer. In fact, he's called 9-1-1 more often this summer than he's called me.

Then there's last night, when I was dog tired and doug called me and I said I was just going to bed because I was tired. Here's the rest of the conversation:

me: Well what're you doin' tomorrow night? We'll do something then.
him: Uh...I'm busy tomorrow.
Me: Doing what?
him: It's a surprise or something.
Me: Right.

Just 'cuz I bailed out on Friday - with a good reason - the rest of the weekend he's "busy" as some form of punishment or something.

Damn, just since I started writing this I realized that I guess I'm more pissed off than I originally thought.

I don't mean to be a complete dick - and I don't mean to call out Ian and Doug, but c'mon guys, stop being idiots. How would you like it if everybody stopped calling you for no apparent reason?

I don't know when I become this "extra" in our little group, but clearly that's how it goes now I guess. If I'm there I'm there, if I'm not, well no big loss I guess. I'm glad I'm headed to Kamloops next weekend - at least there people are happy to hang out with me and actually care whether I'm there or not. Maybe I should stay awhile.

By the way, since i'm sure Jeremy will if he reads this, don't fill the comments box with 300 comments telling me to fuck off, once is enough.

:: Back to the grind ::

"I'm surprised I don't get arrested more often." - Bucholtz

A 2 a.m. drunken conversation...
Bucholtz: Hey Nick!
Nick (asleep): ...what?
Bucholtz: Fuck you!

"Take off would ya?...I hear the Great White North is a beauty way to go." - Bucholtz

"Why is the sky blue? I always wondered that." - Chris, very drunk.

Well, I guess it was bound to come to an end. My weekend, which was four-and-a-half days long, is pretty much over, which sucks because I really don't want to go back to work. This weekend was pretty damn fun, and camping kicked as much ass as it usually does. We went out to Agassiz/Harrison, and spent most of the time at the beach, playing frisbee, eating ice cream and getting sunburns.

We also drank a lot of beers, were constantly annoyed by some little 6-year-old girl who was camping next door, and we were also hassled by the idiot owner of the place who one day told us to be quiet by 11 p.m. only to show up the next night at 9:45 and tell us to be quiet. No dice, amigo, which is why Chris told him to take off.

Some of the highlights included: Chris diving for frisbee in about 1-foot of water at Harrison Lake and doing a complete faceplant (movie to be available soon, along with photos); Pat somehow climbing a 15 foot high gazebo to get a frisbee, and I beer-bonged two bottles of some Smirnoff green apple drink, which wasn't that tasty, to say the least.

But alas, the fun is over and it's back to work for three days until the next weekend...until of course I have no job and everyday seems like a Saturday.

Photos and a couple movies will soon be posted on a new site. A link to them will be posted soon.