Another Friday...
"I should clone myself." - Kelsey
"Alex Rios is my boyfriend. Shhh...it's a secret." - Kels
Tara: This woman called my work the other day and said she'd only speak to French Canadians or Jews.
Chris: Who likes French Canadians?
"Nigga please...it's funny cuz I'm so white." - Kels
Kyle: I wanted the pink and diamond phone but it was too much money.
Kels: Why, did you grow a vagina?
Kyle: No, but if I did I'd fuck it.
"Okay fine, just drive home you idiots! I don't care. But do me a favour and both die at the same time so I only have to buy one set of funeral clothes!" - Jer, yelling at me and Kels before we left. (For the record, I wasn't drunk and nobody drove anywhere)
"It's like a hat..for a waterbottle." - Kels, talking about her new waterbottle's lid this morning (completely sober)
Last night was a decent one. Started at Jimy Mac's for dinner and a couple pitchers o' beer, then it was off to the Scramstad residence for some more beers. Hung out there the rest of the night with pretty much everybody. And me and Kels were somewhat shocked to realize that we were pretty fuckin' tanked and it was only 8:12.
We work quickly.
The night progressed as usual, with the odd hitch here and there. Then Kyle, Jer and Ian came home. They'd been out at Jer's uncle's place fixing his truck. But when they walked in the door, they looked very different.
All three of them had shaved heads. And Sean quickly followed suit and did it too.
Now, Jer and Ian have always had short hair, so they didn't look that different. But Bucholtz has had long curly hair for as long as I've known him - since he was probably 13 or something like that. He looked ridiculous - especially considering his hairline comes to a point (like a perfect arrowhead) in the middle of his forehead.
We decided that - not only does it make him look 5 years younger - his new hair makes him look like Dracula...or Count Chocula, whatever.
"He looks like Dracula, not Count Chocula you bunch of cereal munching idiots!" - Jer
"Weird. I'm hanging out with a bunch of white guys with shaved heads." -Bobby, afraid that some kind of racial hate crime/skinhead situation was about arise. It didn't.
"Now that you're drunk can you fix my hair?" - Ian
Then when it was time to go home around 2ish (I think), Kels was back in her form of two weeks ago, demanding to drive home. I don't know that she actually would have, but I stole her keys again anyhow, even if I got yelled at for it. (and told to "Go away and fucking leave me alone!") But that's ok.
"I don't know how we're such good friends. You should've punched me in the face." - Kels, this morning, about how I (and I alone) usually end up (undeservedly) taking the brunt of her drunken wrath.
It's tough work, this attempting to keep my friends alive and out of jail, but the next-morning "You were right" is enough for me.
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