Mike and I are discussing who would be victorious in a duel between the two of us. Why are we dueling in the first place, you may wonder? Well, my blog-reading friends, we are dueling for the overexaggerated-internet-conversation-love of Ms. Melissa White. Here is an abridged version of our argument:

Mike: You simply cannot compete with my devious tactics.
Nick: I'd still kick your ass.
Mike: As if. I'd have the power of Papp on my side, which you foolishly bestowed upon me. In your unwitting ways you have sealed your doom.
Nick: That's okay, I'll have fish guy on my side!
Mike: Fish guy? Who, Seabass? aka Alan Bass? Dude, you can HAVE Alan Bass, what's he going to do, wave a textbook at me?
(pause)
Mike: No, wait. He'd be great in a fight! As soon as things get tough...he'd resign!

*zing!*

Score: Mike 1. Alan 0. (Nick 7)

For those people I've talked to on messenger recently, they know I frequently go offline because my internet connection craps out. Well, this is what I'm blaming it on : Apparently communications are being disrupted by forces from beyond our planet. Seriously.

Some kind of solar flare type thing has been spewed from the sun, and is hurtling towards earth at an incredible speed.

Somebody better call Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck.

I just heard college football's dumbest announcer. It's the Alabama-Tennessee game, and it's only 3-0 Alabama in the first half.

Announcer: I dont want to be overly dramatic or anything, but this is going to be a huge play for Alabama. actually, it may be the most important play of the whole season.

First of all, its only 3-0 early in the game. How the fuck can it be the most important play of the year. Save a phrase like that for when the team is in a Bowl game.

Alabama then screwed up on the play

Announcer: Well that's alright, they can fight back from that. It's not a huge deal for (insert quaterbacks name).

Yep, play of the year all right. Real important stuff.

Idiot.

"There's nothing happening this week! Nick, go make some fuckin' news. Go start a fire on the street. The fire department is right across the road, it'll be fine. Then go rob the pharmacy and streak down main street. Just do it. And hurry up, we've got deadlines here man." - Ken, on a slow news day

Conversation I overheard at work today...

Shelly: Have you tried that stuff, broccolini?
Marie: Yeah, its good. It's a cross between broccoli and cauliflower.
Shelly: Then why is it called broccolini? What's with the 'ini' ? Shouldn't it be broccoflower or something?

I've written a new View from the Bench column called "Curse you and the Goat you rode in on." Go read it.

Today, my friends, is Mike's birthday. Now, I haven't really known Mike that long - about a year - but in that short time he's become one of my best friends, despite the fact that to the casual observer it would appear that we hate each other. While it's true that we go to great lengths to drive each other crazy, we never seen to do it. Not in a bad way, anyhow. It's sort of weird, but cool at the same time. I have Mike to thank for many things - not the least of which is the obnoxious crow outside my window. Those things include Space Ghost, Strong Bad, bad punk songs, Men in Hats, and any number of cartoons or comics that distract me from actually doing something productive. In fact, it's because of Mike that I have this blog that you are reading right now. So, on this day, Oct. 13th, I would just like to say: Happy Birthday Mike, you big jackass.

Ken: Me and Nick are playing road hockey after work.
Jessica: You are? Well did you even ask him if he wanted to first?
Ken: I don't have to ask him, I'm his boss.

an excerpt from Mike's Blog....

"The max was fun, there was one point where me and Melissa were trying to dance, but something, I think it was the sight of a guy who would make the perfect man for someone WITH NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHATSOEVER (inside joke), made us collapse with laughter, completely unable to dance any longer."

The first inside joke from Kamloops (that I've heard of) that I am not a part of.

I feel so alone.*




*Okay, so not really.

Warning, here comes another post about sports. Normally I'd post this in my sports blog but I never know if anyone reads that or not, so I'm posting it here instead.

Being in Peace River with little to no social life to speak of, I've taken to watching playoff baseball. Lots of it. On Saturday I watched 3 games back-to-back-to-back. I normally don't watch a lot of baseball on T.V, only if the Blue Jays or occasionally the Mariners are playing. But this is different. These are the most exciting ball games I've ever witnessed - 9th inning comebacks, one run leads, bases loaded bunts, it's fantastic. Now two of "my teams" are out - the Twins and the A's. But the Cubs are still in it, so I'll keep watching. Hell, if the games keep it up like this I'd watch if it was the Yomiuri Giants vs. Danny Almonte's little league team. But this one article I found describes it perfectly - give it a read if you've been as addicted to the games as i have. Or even if you're just interested in the resurgence of a true American institution - Baseball.

Today, sadly, hockey player Dan Snyder passed away from injuries suffered in a car accident. I've written an editorial on the whole situation on my blog, View from the Bench. You can read it here.

I know I've posted recently about the noise in my apartment. But today there has only been one train and a few police sirens, so nothing major. Until about two hours ago, when a big crow decided to perch itself on a telephone pole about halfway up the hill by my window, just between my apartment and the highway. And the thing with this crow is that HE WON'T SHUT UP! He just sits there cawing away, and just when I think he is going to be quiet, he starts up again.

Caw. Caw.


Thankfully, he has, after close to two hours, just flown away.

And this wasn't some "stately raven of the saintly days of yore" who is gently tapping at my chamber door, Edgar Allen Poe style. This damn bird was driving me insane in a completely different way. In a sort of Mike kind of way - he's just relentless.

This bird, who I named Eng, has taken his human namesake's place on my list of people I despise*. He is my mortal foe.

In the time that it has taken me to write this post, Eng has returned. To a closer pole.

Caw. Caw.

Damn bird.



Note: For those unfamilar with Mike's and my friendship, I don't really despise him.

I may have mentioned before that my apartment is right down the hill from the highway, just a stones throw away. I can also see, from my living room window, train tracks. Usually, I rarely notice they're there, and despite being next to both the highway and train tracks, it's surprisingly quiet here, especially at night. But not today. Holy crap has it been loud-- Big trucks rumbling down the road, cars screeching, and 6 trains (yes, 6!!!!) It's crazy, and reminded me of some lines from the live version of a Tragically Hip song, Highway Girl.

In between singing parts, Gord Downie shouts out a monologue/story about a girl to the audience.

She got an apartment where the property was cheap
Next to the freeway
She says 'I save lots of money
But l lose lots of sleep
In my apartment
where the property's cheap.'


Whoever that girl in the story is, I know how she feels.


*note: speaking of music, I bought new Dave Matthews today and it's fuckin' rad.

Meghan: I want an office where people feel free to spank their monkeys."

Ken: Nick, I can't take it anymore, I'm going for a damn walk.
me: Alright, go nuts. Why are you taking your keys?
Ken: I'm driving.
me: Okay then, enjoy your walk.