"Nicole's only boyfriend was deaf. That was the only way he could put up with her." - Kristyl, talking about an acquaintance's love life.
"Matt would give you the shirt of his back. The only problem is that the shirt would be pink and nobody would want it." - Ian's neighbour, Ryan, ragging on Ian's future brother-in-law, who earlier that day arrived home from teaching golf wearing white pants and a light pink shirt.
"It's my Cola Wars slurpee." - Christene, filling up her 7-Eleven collectible Terminator cup (Yes, she really bought one) with both Pepsi and Coke.
After buying a new power drill to fix his backyard gate...
Ian: I wish I had something else to drill.
Me: You could make a birdhouse.
Ian: If I was going to make a birdhouse, I'd just go to Home Depot and buy one of those kids birdhouse kits.... Then I'd probably just call my dad and get him to build it.
"It's like knowing you are going to get your hand chopped off. You know it's going to hurt, but there's nothing you can do about it so you might as well get it over with." - Kristyl's fine take on the actual process of giving birth, which she is getting closer and closer to.
"Why isn't Jesus good at hockey? Because people kept nailing him to the boards." - Bucholtz tells a joke.
"Affirmative action is bullshit." - Bucholtz again, this time after seeing a woman officiating a men's boxing match, and having trouble separating the angry combatants.
"If I'm driving after drinking some beers, I'm never under 0.08 anyway." - Sean, on why it doesn't matter if he gets rid of his 'N' on his driver's licence. For those who aren't aware, if you are a "new driver" you can't even blow 0.01 without losing your licence.
"It almost seems like you should have B.O. to match your mustache." - Christene, commenting on my wicked facial hair.
And on that note.....
Current Funtastic Moustache Status: Barely noticeable (It's blond for some reason)
And speaking of Funtastic, and therefore of the Cannons, we have bounced out of our losing streak by winning our last two games. On Sunday, we beat a crappy team by three runs, and followed that by beating an even crappier team Monday night by a single run. It's still embarrassing, but embarrassing wins are better than embarrassing losses.
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