Right now, the illustrious Cannons - reigning champions of Langley Mixed Slo-Pitch's division E1 - are in the midst of a bit of a slide. Losers of three straight. Losers of four of the last five or so. And, in Jeremy's case two games back, losers of our cool, too. (editor's note: Jeremy recently became the second Cannon to be kicked out of a game. Kudos, good sir. You are in good company.)
However, recent mistakes aside, this current misstep is far from our worst. As such, I present to you, in no particular order, the Worst Mistakes in Cannons History:
1. "Hey Nick, welcome back. You're playing third."
The inaugural Cannons season began in early April five years ago. The team won its first two games, and was something like 3-1 after the first few weeks. Then I, our standout third-baseman-turned-first baseman-turned-outfielder-because-there's-no-other-spot-to-hide-him returned from a nine-month sabbatical in Peace River, Alberta. We lost in my debut game, then 17 more in a row, and finished the season at 3-19. I like to think I helped.
2. Bucholtz plays drunk.
Friday night game. Buch's parents - even his lovely grandma - come to watch him play. Bucholtz, who has been at the peelers with his crew from work ever since mid-afternoon, arrives drunk and beligerent. For some reason, we let him play. He strikes out looking in the first inning, questions the umpire loudly and emphatically, then is benched, and sits on the bench the rest of the game. Diana is not proud.
3. Funtastic 2007. Um, I'm sure we all remember this...
For those you don't recall. This was taken after a drunken, very-public streaking of the Canada Day fireworks in Enderby. The all-male streakathon culminated in a group slip-and-side effort into dish soap, which stung eyes and nearly blinded everyone involved. Upon photograpic review, Bucholtz came perilously close to sliding right into both Sean and Groz's naked groinal areas.
4. Dana holds at third
It was the semifinals of the playoffs, and the Cannons have made a miraculous run from the last-place seed into the Final Four. We are down by a run in the final inning, and Dana - who has wheels - is at second base. The ball is smacked into the outfield, and it looks like we're about to tie the ol' score. Except whoever is coaching third - can't remember if it was Jeremy or Bucholtz or Ian - inexplicably holds Dana at three. Oh, there were two outs, by the way.
And sure, Katie came into the game and saved the day with a swinging bunt that scored Dana which is, to this day, is among the greatest plays in team history. And sure, we won the game easily in the extra inning, but still, that was not wise coaching. I would've sent her home - but unfortunately I'd already been kicked out of the game. Also, I was banned by my own team from coaching third base. But that's not the point here.
and finally, the last great mistake (Which ironically was actually the first)....
5. "Hey Mike, want to play on the softball team we're starting?"
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