Sunday, July 23, 2006

:: The Rules ::

Well, it's over.

A few pictures still have to be hung, a few minor things put away, but for the most part, the move is done.

Thank fucking God.

We started moving things in last week, slowly but surely, and we got to the point Saturday where two or three loads and everything was where it needed to be. The rest of the day was spent, along with my parents, putting furniture together and generally sorting out the house.

Did that pretty much all day, til the late evening, when I ate dinner and headed off to Rachel's birthday shaker at her bro's house, which, convienently, is now only about 5 minutes from my house.

But, now that I'm in the new digs, all moved in for good, I figured I should lay out a few rules. I'm not exactly gonna enforce 'em with an iron fist like some douchebag, but just try your best.

1. No puking anywhere in my house, in the front courtyard, or definitely not off my balcony. In fact, just to be safe, how ''bout just keeping all your vomit-like fluids to yourself while you're here.

2. Speaking of the balcony, do me a favour and don't spit, throw cigarette butts, or beer cans or anything else over the edge. This is because right below my balcony, is my neighbour Steve's patio. And he's a pretty big dude. And he has a goatee. And all weekend he wore a shirt with flames on it, so you know he doesn't fuck around.

3. Shut the fuck up already. We don't have to be church-quiet, obviously, but just keep down the ol' noise when it's late - not really any different than if we're at Sean and Rachel's or anywhere else. I don't have landlords than can give me the boot, but I really don't wanna get fined up the ass by the strata.

4. No sex is to be had in the new abode unless I'm involved in some way. And Bucholtz - about that offer you made to me last night when I informed people of this rule...never say that again.

5. Similar to the shutting up rule, no loud drunken arguments in the courtyard or driveways, parking lots. Decent people are probably trying to sleep. Sean and Rachel, Kelsey and, well, me. I'm looking in your (our) direction.

6. Don't break anything.

That's pretty much it I think. Feel free to come visit. Just gimme a minute to get the door because I'll probably have to find pants first.

No comments: