Well, after a four-day span of having no comments on the site, it's apparently fixed, so I figured I may as well post up all the quotes and exploits of last weekend, even if a new weekend is almost upon us. Enjoy.
"They call me Dr. Creep. It's because I'm a real doctor - a box doctor. Who needs a little checkup?" - Bucholtz, talking to drunk girls at the bar.
"This game combines my three favourite things - drinking, lying, and swearing." - Me, playing a drinking game that may have been the beginning of the end. (Others would argue the beginning of the end came about an hour earlier when I pronounced myself the only one drunk before dinner.)
"The creamsicle is like the Cadillac of popsicles." - Me again.
'Is that guy's last name 'Hashbrowns'?" - Bucholtz, watching Jarrod Washburn pitch on TV for the Mariners.
"I love taking advantage of girls. It's fun." - Bucholtz. Obviously.
"If you look at my old report cards you can tell exactly when I started to drink." - Buchs, on a roll by this point.
"Sean better lock Rachel down quick cuz he ain't gonna do any better." - Bobby. (Who says guys never talk about marriage?)
Two weekends ago, I didn't do much of anything. Each morning, Saturday and Sunday, I had to work. Therefore that meant early nights, and not a whole lot of action.
Last weekend I was determined to make up for it.
I did have some restraint, however. I decide that I would not get drunk on Friday. Instead I'd save my liver and energy for Saturday's shaker at Ian's house - for his birthday.
Plans, however, change.
Started Friday at Jimy Mac's, just hanging out, having a few beers. Soon after, we headed to Ian's, where a drunk Jer and Lambie already were. And fuck were they obnoxious.
So, about 30 minutes and one ruined card game later, me, Kels, Ian, and Bucholtz went to Fort Pub, where Sean, Rach, Rach's brother Andrew, and about 30 of his friends were getting shitfaced. It was outrageous. Seriously - it was more like a club than anything. Any oldtimers who went there for a quiet evening and a few pints were probably sorely disappointed.
I still wasn't drunk by this point - buzzed maybe, but hardly drunk. Then I ordered a beer. Then 2 more.
Then I was drunk. Then it got ugly. Sean was well on his way to being hustled out of $10 by some poolshark. Instead, however, he was just outrighted thieved of his money. So he yelled at the guy. Then I yelled. Then Bucholtz tried to fight him. Then Rachel got slapped by Thief's girlfriend.
Then there was more yelling. Then Kelsey and thieving girl went nose to nose. Did I mention it was ugly?
Eventually we left, drunk and angry. But thankful for a Friday night that didn't involve sitting and Sean and Rachel's house going "Duh...what should we do tonight guys?"
Saturday was the real gongshow, however. For once, it wasn't just a couple people really drunk and the rest of us not. EVERYONE was fucking plastered. Especially me.
I drank an entire 26 of Bacardi, then somebody gave me a beer. Then Buchs said I could have some of his vodka.
Then I stopped remembering.
Apparently I was just a fucking mangled mess. I don't remember leaving, I don't remember going home, and I don't remember what I did once I got there.
Good thing for me Ian lives about 4 houses away.
In the morning, I checked my cell phone - a handful of outgoing calls, six of the same text message sent to the same person, and a few missed calls - all ranging from 2:40 to 5:58 a.m.
Uh oh.
I talked to Kels later that morning, and the first thing I asked, after mentioning my drunken cell phone use, was: "What did I do? And how much trouble am I in?"
That, you see, is what is usually necessary after I have a night i can't remember. And by usually necessary I mean absolutely always completely necessary.
However, she then informed me that I was completely well behaved, just completely fucked up.
Best part? I somehow didn't even puke.
Awesome.
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