*Updated.....

Amanda: Brett just do her already!
Lambie: No I rubbed one out already, I'm fine.

"If I was ever going to have sex with a foosball table that'd be it." - Bobby, trying to convince me to spend more money.

In reaction to the hoards of high school kids who thought he was God...
Bobby: I'm going to run for mayor so this feeling never ends!
Lambie: Doesn't matter, you'd lose because none of these kids are old enough to vote.

"I don't wear the wrist brace during the day because it doesn't match any of my clothes." - Brad being Brad

"It's like a whorehouse, but dirtier." - Sean, on the interior of his car.

"I hate soup! I don't wanna eat food that I'm drinking!" - Sean again.

To be honest, my expectations for this weekend weren't that high. Nothing big was on the horizon, I had to work for a bit Saturday, and I just generally figured nothing would really be goin' down.

Nothing really did, but it still turned out alright.

Friday after work, me, Chris and Seaner went and tossed a ball around a drank some beers, then we went over to Sean and Rach's with the usual crew and had a couple more drinks.

Saturday was much better, despite the fucking rain. I had to cover a baseball game Saturday but due to the friggin downpour it was rained out. Drove all that damn way for nothing.

When I got back I went and hung out with B-rad for awhile, then me and Bobby went and got some food at Shark's (mmm...mediterranean chicken wrap). After killing some more time at my place we headed to Lambo's. At about 1:00 or so (I think) me and Bobby left, and spent the next while loafing on Bob's couch eating burritos and watching Top Gun...then Jeremy called.

"I'm drunk and nobody's here anymore. Come get me I don't wanna walk!"

Being the nice guys that we are (occassionally) we went and picked him up, only to be informed that he didn't wanna go home, he wanted "to go do something."

I got news for ya Jer, at 1:30 in the morning when you're shittered, there's not really a whole lot to do.

Goof.

Anyhow, after dropping Jer off at the street in front of his cul-de-sac (He said we couldn't go in it, so we had to get as close as possible), the night was finally over.

And now I really want to eat a burrito. Man they were good.

More weekend stuff to come later on, but for now, here's the TV I just bought.

I get a half-chub just looking at it.

In my recent Inter-web perusing (mostly through links on this site, and Mike's) I have stumbled upon a handful of fucking outstanding posts from a number of different blogs, many of which I'd never read.

Some are funny, some serious, some rambling and quasi-whiny/lame, but at the very least, all are written well. A sample below, with websites in brackets...

Single Guy's Guide to Couplehood (This is what we do now)

I have a fucking blog (This is what we do now)

Put out or get out (A Tribute to Nonsensical Ramblings)

Single Guys Guide to Dating (This is what we do now)

I get it - you're in Sales (The Phat Phree)

Also, because I came across them written in some file on my computer, I'll leave you with three Ian quotes, all said to me a number of weeks ago, all within about 5-10 minutes of each other. He was on a roll...

"I'm up for most ideas. Except male strippers and church."

"I'm hungrier than an Ethiopian on a hunger strike."

"I wish I had some tits to play with right now."

That's all for now, kids.

:: Easter Weekend :: (or the $5,000 weekend that was almost $10,000)

"I wish my lawn was emo so it'd cut itself." - Sean, with an old joke that still made me laugh.

"Chiropractors are all a bunch of pirates." - Buchs, for some reason.

"Let's go get stoned and play bingo!" - Tara (Yes, Tara said that.)

"Pictures are bad. It's like evidence." - Chris

Bobby: A little piece of me died right there.
Jer: I hope the rest of you dies real soon too.

"Anyone else have that awkward half-chub right now?" - Jer, watching porn

"I always like sucking cock upside down." - Buchs, horribly messing up a sentence. Horribly.

Not a whole lot shook down this weekend, it appeared by all accounts to be pretty lowkey - especially considering it was a long weekend.

The most important thing is that the Cannons won their first game of the year - unfortunately on the same night as the Canucks' season went down the tubes. Fucking Canucks.

The rest of the weekend was pretty mellow - for me at least, because I didn't drink at all. I was home reasonably early most nights, yet somehow I feel just as tired. I had to sign some papers for my house, and hand over a $5,000 deposit - so now there's no backing out, unless I wanna get sued, which I don't.

Speaking of the house, I was very close on two occasions to buying a big-screen TV and/or leather couches to put in it, but both times I held off. Basically, I can't decide whether I want a 42" plasma, or a 52" regular TV. It's a tough call, what with all the HD, ED, LCD etc options that I don't know a whole lot about. On one hand, a 52" is pretty damn big, but a plasma tv is..well, just pretty rad. Oh well, at least I've got time to decide.

Besides, I probably spent enough money this weekend with the deposit. Doubling that on a TV and couches may have sent me into some kind of shock or seizure of some type. We wouldn't want that.

Well, Jer might. Then he'd try and get my house after I kick off.

Play Ball!

After getting called out for not updating the Cannons' site for months and months, I did. So go check it out.

That is all.

:: A post for no reason ::

"I'm just a farmboy who occasionally likes to get jiggy with it." - Buchs, wishing he lived in the sticks, as we drove to our ball game yesterday.

No real reason for this post, except to maybe get that other damn post bumped down a peg. You've probably noticed a decided lack of big, sprawling, hilarious posts lately. No drunken recaps, no weekend awards, no long lists of laugh-your-balls-off-its-so-funny quotes.

The reason, I figured out tonight, is that I just don't give a shit about this blog right now. I used to like regaling y'all with funny stories, but now, I don't have much desire to recap any of this crap for anyone.

So for the time being, don't expect much of me.

:: Sunday Morning Regrets ::

What the hell is my problem?

I used to be a pretty fun drunk, a pretty fun person in general. Now all I do is get myself into trouble and piss people off. I don't know how exactly I dig myself out of this hole.

And I can only apologize to certain people so many weekends in a row before it starts losing meaning. But here's one more for the road anyway...

Sorry. I'll try harder.

Honest.

Nick's Keg-erific Shitshow

Date: This Saturday
Time: late-afternoonish
Location: my house.

The following people are invited:

You.

"To quote Aristotle: Fuck you guys." - Buchs

"Fuck New Orleans. I didn't give them shit." - Jer

Ian: I hate suction at the dentist.
Kels: What, would you rather choke?
Ian: I'd rather spit in the dentist's face.

"I hate cats. I'd rather run them over." - Jason (A guy at my company conference)

"If you were in Vietnam, I'd shoot you." - Buchs to Kels, cuz she's apparently Asian.

More stuff to come later, maybe...