"Don't you know I like snowmen? Where's my fuckin' snowman!?" - Shelly
"Nick, get over here and come get your picture taken with the Chinese people." - Shelly
"Hi Nick, it's me...Shelly." - Shelly, like 4 inches from my face, just in case I didn't recognize her.
Jessica: Shelly, what are you doing?
Shelly (smoking): I'm having my Christmas cigarette.
Ken: Christmas cigarette? what the fuck is that? Hey Nick, let's go get the Christmas bong.
"Me and Nick are screwed because we're the only guys here and we're going to end up with bath salts or something. The only thing we're gonna do with bath salts is smoke 'em." - Ken, talking about the disadvantage of the random gift exchange situation.
Well, the Record-Gazette Christmas party was interesting, to say the least. It's quite shocking actually, to see the normally reserved people from work in a completely different light - a drunken light. Shelly, the woman who works in the composing department was especially drunk, and while she was pretty wild and funny, she was also quite...embarassing I guess, and certainly not politically correct. She kept trying to drag me around the bar, so I made it my goal to stay away from her. It had to be extra sneaky. For the most part, it worked.
For the most part. There were a few occasions where I could not avoid her, or her drunken counterpart, Marie, the office manager, and I was literally dragged, unwillingly, onto the dance floor, where I made it my goal to leave as quick as possible. Not that I don't like dancing, but after being dragged onto the floor, I actually spent less time
dancing, and more time trying to re-button my shirt that was practically torn from my body in the act of being dragged around. So then i went back to the table and talked with the rest of the drunken girls I work with, who were nearly just as drunk and crazy as the two I had just escaped from.
I eventually left about an hour early because I had a killer headache. I thought drinking an entire pitcher of rye-and-7 would make it go away, but it didn't quite work.
But on the plus side, I learned a few things:
1) Crazy girls' boyfriend is almost as weird as she is.
2) Crazy girl is still crazy.
3) I'm irresistible to women. Well, at least those I work with. When they're drunk.
So that was my night: Got very drunk, attacked and dragged around by two drunken co-workers, then escaped and sat with more drunken co-workers where I had to watch out for various drunken ass grabs and such. It's just too bad most of the girls I worked with weren't hot and/or single.
But whatever. I guess when you got it, you got it.
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