Christene: My phone bill for December had $155 in text message fees. That was before I had a data plan.
Me: I can't help but feel partly responsible.
Christene: Of course you're responsible!
"Pregnancy is one big camel toe." - Kristyl, on ill-fitting pants.
"It actually feels like you're masturbating if you have sex with a black chick in the dark." - Sean, as politically correct as ever.
"I quit smoking weed for awhile, but then I was like, 'Hey, I enjoy being stoned.' So now I smoke weed again." - Sean, again.
Watching some '80s movie on TV...
Me: That guy looks like Judge Reinhold.
Christene: It was the '80s, everbody looked like Judge Reinhold.
"There's a lot of lesbians in Blaine." - Jolene, a co-worker. She said this at lunch, completely off-topic and unprovoked.
Speak first, think later...
Me: I want to go to Australia.
Kristyl: Me too, but I don't think I could handle the drive.
Me: uhhhh...
Kristyl: Flight. I mean flight.
"We saw a lot of sights. We didn't neccesarily go into many of them, but we drove past a lot on our way to a pub." - Kristyl again, reminiscing on the trip to Ireland her and Christene took a couple years ago.
:: And the award goes to... ::
Because it's Oscar Night, I've decided to put on my best tux (actually a stained wife-beater and some fleece sweat pants) and hand out some awards of my own.
Best attempt to out douche-ify Randy River: Old Navy, which is currently selling a shit-ton of board shorts with skulls on them.
Raddest Facebook admission: My cousin Steve, who admitted in one of those 25 Random Things About Me lists that he once "was so high I made a platter of sandwiches for people I was talking to on the phone."
Best Way to Spend a Sunday: Me, lazy fuck that I am, for waking up at 8 a.m. but not getting out of bed until 2:15.
Best Way to Get Out of Household Chores: Me again, a two-time winner. On Saturday, by coincedence, I popped by my parent's house to say hi just as my mom and dad were out washing their cars. So of course, mine ended up nice and shiny, too. I helped....sort of. Also, on Sunday, I had a bunch of shirts I needed to iron for work, but my iron sort of crapped out (it sucks on the best of days. I'd buy a new one, but it's a fucking iron, so who cares?). So I brought a bunch of my dress shirts over to my parents' house when I went there for dinner, fully content to, and planning on, ironing them myself (really). But my mom did it for me without me even knowing, because she's my mom and this is what she does.
The What a Shocker Award: Heath Ledger's Best Supporting Actor Oscar win for his role as The Joker. Not saying he wasn't deserving - he was amazingin The Dark Knight - but c'mon, they've been hyping this since last summer, obviously he was gonna take it. Even Stevie Wonder saw this coming (*rimshot*).
Best Dressed: The guy I saw at the Walnut Grove Pub Friday night, who was wearing a black T-shirt with "Spitters are Quitters" printed large across the chest. Classy buddy, classy.
Best Idea: Jenna's pre-purchase of Mariners/Padres tickets for our first night in Phoenix. Fuck I am pumped - and less than a month to go!
Best/Most Terrifying Realization That We are Getting Old Award: Christene and me, watching Kids. When you watch the movie as a 15-year-old, you think "Wow, these kids are bad ass - drinking, fucking and wandering around New York. I want to be like them (minus the AIDS)." When we watched it on Saturday, as quasi-responsible 27-year-old adults, we both said the same thing at the same time: Where are these kids' parents, anyway?
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