:: Year In Review ::
A year ago at about this time, I said, unlike some people, I wasn't necessarily looking forward to 2005 because 2004 had been awfully good to me.
Fast forward 12 months, and I don't feel the same way again. Far as I'm concerned, this year can't be over quick enough. It started out well enough, with life rolling along according to plan - I even started going to the gym in hopes of losing some weight. Turns out that would be one of the few steady, positive things about this year. The rest was a rollercoaster...
A quick rundown...
- got drunk a lot.
- There was some ugliness.
- Recovered.
- fell down a driveway.
- Recovered.
- Brad got hurt.
- my dog died.
- Currently recovering.
And now my grandma (not the grandma many of you have met, my other grandma - my dad's mom) is in the hospital. She's diabetic, and has leukemia (another wonderful thing brought to light this year), and just today my dad had to take her to the hospital after she had some kind of stroke or diabetic shock. She was this close to being in a diabetic coma, apparently.
Just one more log thrown onto the fire of shittiness.
Chris summed it up nicely today on the phone: "This is the worst year of my entire life."
Yes, there were good points - camping trips, parties, ball games, trips to Seattle and Alberta, but overall, it just feels like I've constantly had something on my mind - almost always bad. I've had a very hard time just relaxing, and I've lost my ability to just go out and enjoy myself without thinking, worrying, wondering, etc. I don't know when that'll change.
I don't know what exactly I've learned this year, what 'life lessons' I'm supposed to take from all this bullshit. Maybe for one, I learned not to take my friends for granted, because tomorrow they might be gone - in a coma, moved away, or just moved on to other things and other people.
And I guess I also figured out that, sometimes no matter what you do, and what you say, some things are just the way they are, and won't ever change. No matter what.
Fuck off '05. Don't let the door hit cha on the way out.
And as for 2006, I don't expect it will be the greatest year for me either. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not being pessimistic, just hear me out. I know (hope) that '06 will be better than this year, and I'm sure it will be (it can't be worse).
But let me use a sports analogy, if I can.
After lots of success, every winning team eventually has to go into rebuilding mode to get back to where they want to be. Hell, even the New York Yankees sucked in the '80s. And 2004 was my World Series. This year, I guess my life played with guys called up from Triple-A who weren't quite ready for The Show. And it'll be another year of "rebuilding" before I get myself where I want to be. There's a number of things I need to do, but I won't get into that here. So 2006 is simply Year 2 of the Nick Rebuilding Plan.
Things will be a lot different in 2007 - I'll be a lot different. And that's gonna be my year I think.
And as for a resolution for the next 12 months?
Move forward. In every sense.
*EDIT: Me and Chris went for Chinese food tonight. At the end of dinner, we got the usual fortune cookies. My fortune said "Your fantasy will come true."
I couldn't do anything but laugh, since the chance of that happening are..well there is no chance, let's put it that way.
Nice to see even the Chinese are mocking me now, along with God and whomever else is pulling the strings. What a day this has been. One thing, then another - if my house catches fire tonight I don't know I'd even be too surprised.
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