"What did you do to him while I was gone?!" - Kels, to Buchs, after I made some Bucholtz-like comparison regarding her smooth, newly waxed arm and my "jut-sack" as Kels called it. There was also an offer put forth to test the comparison if I remember correctly.

Fuck I'm sweet. Get used to it (maybe).

Tomorrow is New Years of course, so that'll be disgusting. Posts will come sometime after, once I've fully recovered from what I expect will be one helluva hangover.

Happy '06 homies.

:: Year In Review ::

A year ago at about this time, I said, unlike some people, I wasn't necessarily looking forward to 2005 because 2004 had been awfully good to me.

Fast forward 12 months, and I don't feel the same way again. Far as I'm concerned, this year can't be over quick enough. It started out well enough, with life rolling along according to plan - I even started going to the gym in hopes of losing some weight. Turns out that would be one of the few steady, positive things about this year. The rest was a rollercoaster...

A quick rundown...

- got drunk a lot.
- There was some ugliness.
- Recovered.
- fell down a driveway.
- Recovered.
- Brad got hurt.
- my dog died.
- Currently recovering.

And now my grandma (not the grandma many of you have met, my other grandma - my dad's mom) is in the hospital. She's diabetic, and has leukemia (another wonderful thing brought to light this year), and just today my dad had to take her to the hospital after she had some kind of stroke or diabetic shock. She was this close to being in a diabetic coma, apparently.

Just one more log thrown onto the fire of shittiness.

Chris summed it up nicely today on the phone: "This is the worst year of my entire life."

Yes, there were good points - camping trips, parties, ball games, trips to Seattle and Alberta, but overall, it just feels like I've constantly had something on my mind - almost always bad. I've had a very hard time just relaxing, and I've lost my ability to just go out and enjoy myself without thinking, worrying, wondering, etc. I don't know when that'll change.

I don't know what exactly I've learned this year, what 'life lessons' I'm supposed to take from all this bullshit. Maybe for one, I learned not to take my friends for granted, because tomorrow they might be gone - in a coma, moved away, or just moved on to other things and other people.

And I guess I also figured out that, sometimes no matter what you do, and what you say, some things are just the way they are, and won't ever change. No matter what.

Fuck off '05. Don't let the door hit cha on the way out.

And as for 2006, I don't expect it will be the greatest year for me either. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not being pessimistic, just hear me out. I know (hope) that '06 will be better than this year, and I'm sure it will be (it can't be worse).

But let me use a sports analogy, if I can.

After lots of success, every winning team eventually has to go into rebuilding mode to get back to where they want to be. Hell, even the New York Yankees sucked in the '80s. And 2004 was my World Series. This year, I guess my life played with guys called up from Triple-A who weren't quite ready for The Show. And it'll be another year of "rebuilding" before I get myself where I want to be. There's a number of things I need to do, but I won't get into that here. So 2006 is simply Year 2 of the Nick Rebuilding Plan.

Things will be a lot different in 2007 - I'll be a lot different. And that's gonna be my year I think.

And as for a resolution for the next 12 months?

Move forward. In every sense.

*EDIT: Me and Chris went for Chinese food tonight. At the end of dinner, we got the usual fortune cookies. My fortune said "Your fantasy will come true."

I couldn't do anything but laugh, since the chance of that happening are..well there is no chance, let's put it that way.

Nice to see even the Chinese are mocking me now, along with God and whomever else is pulling the strings. What a day this has been. One thing, then another - if my house catches fire tonight I don't know I'd even be too surprised.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy Festivus everyone!

In keeping with the Festivus traditions, we will now proceed with the airing of grievances...

On second thought, that would take far too long.

And as for the feats of strength, I only try to fight when I'm drunk, and I never find any takers.

Catching up...

I promised you when I began posting again that we had some catchup to do, so I'll try and finish that off today, and then we can get back to the current biznass and ridiculousness.

Back in November, Tara decided to throw a dinner party for everyone, except Chris and Jenna because they're ugly and weren't invited. Actually, they were out of town, in Kamloops. Anyway, it was a pretty fun night - the food was excellent, and we all ate too much - and we also got drunk off wine, which is new for us. (See? We're expanding our horizons!).

Unfortunately, I don't have any funny quotes from that night - but one of the highlights was definitely Tara's brother Paulo. He was HAMMERED, and entertaining us all - especially Bobby, Buchs and me when he did a little 'routine' at the top of the stairs. It was aimed at a certain someone, but we'll leave that you your imagination. Fuck was it funny, but that's all I'll say aboot that. I also had a wicked burn on Kelsey, and doubled its effectiveness by not telling her what I said after we all laughed.

I'd tell ya right here and now but I forget what it was.

Between the dinner party and now, there were a lot of the usual parties - my house, Sean and Rachel's house, Lambie's, and Jer's too. They all kind of blend together, but some quotes...

"I wish I wore makeup." - Buchs

"A nosebleed is like a period from your nose." - Kels

"I had to febreze my room once after a chick left." - Buchs, on classy broads.

"I hate how no matter what I do you always find a way to make fun of me!" - Kels, to Chris after he made fun of her dinner selection at Jimy Mac's. Yep, that's vintage Chris for you. He's a douchebag.

"I do all my own stunts." - Kels

Rachel: I used to be like an elephant in the memory department.
Bucholtz: I'm like an elephant in the penis department.

"I'm the perfect example of a guy who's not good at anything." - my buddy Steve from work, drunk at the staff Christmas party.

Kels: Craft fair?! Let's go!
Me: Uhhh...no
Kels: Do you think they sell Kraft Dinner?

After Buchs had a blue mouth from eating a Push Pop...
"Yeah, I was eating out Smurfette."

Kels: I love People magazine, because it's trash, but it's classy trash.
Me: Just like you!

(Burn!)

Me and Kels also went to a Canucks game back in November, which was freakin' fun. I hadn't been to a game in a couple years, and Kels had only been to one ever, when she was 13 or something... They were playing the Blackhawks, and won, which was good. Also, we spent a considerable amount of money on $7 beers, so that was fun too. All in all, a good night. Best money I'd spent in awhile, actually.

And of course, we could barely get through a period without something stupid happening...

"The Sedins are twins?" - Kels (obviously).

"I wish I lived at Canuck's Place." - Kels, unaware it was a hospice for sick kids. I'll give her a break on this one I guess.

And that folks, is the backlog of stories and quotes from the past two months I was on hiatus. Now, only new stuff to arrive. Sometime in the new year, there will be a "Best Of" section added to the left side, and I've got a couple decent posts already in the works...some funny, some sad, some just plain good. Maybe a few that're all three rolled into one blog-orific package. Wait and see...

Happy Christmas Eve-Eve.

The best two things I've heard since October...

"Brad talked to me today!" - Kels

"Let's go." - Brad

Soon, B-rad. Soon.

:: No More ::

This is the second consecutive weekend where I've had one morning where I wake up feeling like a complete retard. Not hungover, mind you, but I just feel like a moron. Probably has something to do with Ian feeding me straight vodka and me actually drinking it.

But I'm done with that now. Sooo done.

No more.

"I need more booze...because I'm funny!" - Amanda

"Are you loaded?!" - Amanda again...then she fell over after asking the question.

"Even your olive skin can't contend with my blackness." - Buchs, to Kels.

Amanda: Why can't I call Bobby?
Me: Because that's the T.V. remote.

Buchs: You know...the hospital waitress?
Me: The nurse?
Buchs: Yeah, that's it.

"Jesus is the best wingman ever. He'll take the fat chick every time." - Buchs.

"It's time to say 'Get on your knees or just get out.'" - Bobby, on his philosophy.

"I'm making a fool of myself." - Amanda.

(as an aside, notice the quote variety? Not just one or two people. Whiners)

Last night was a bit of a mess - Amanda, for example, was drunk by noon! It was her last day of classes, so she was drinking with her school buddies. A few of us hung out and my place for awhile, then me, Amanda and Kelsey headed to Sharks.

Amanda lasted only about a half hour before running out of steam, so she left. Bobby came by for a bit too, and bought some Jack Frosts. Then he left to go pick up a wandering Bucholtz, who was on 96th sitting on the side of the road, chugging 7-UP out of a 2-litre bottle.

So the rest of the night, we had a couple more drinks, then Bobby came and picked me up at about 1:15 and I left Kels there...not sure where she ended up really. I came home and passed out, woke up at 4:45 and was a little confused as to what the hell was going on.

As an aside, I really don't like those mornings where you wake up and nobody's around, and you don't really know where or how everybody ended up, but that tends to happen a lot lately.

Meh.

:: Back by popular demand ::

At long last, the hiatus is over. I know I said the blog was discontinued til Brad got better - and I still stand by my claim that it doesn't feel right without him - but I've also come to the realization that it will be awhile yet until he's up and given'r again, and I know you people don't want to wait that long.

Turns out you just can't get enough of me. Can't say I blame you either, what with my clever wit, good looks, and charming personality.

So I'm back baby.

Since Halloween I have actually been writing stuff down, with the plan of making a few monster posts to catch Brad up on what's he missed. I'm not going to recap every single event for you right now, cuz that would take awhile, but I will toss a few quotes your way, collected at times over the last few months. More will come later.

So what's been shaking the last few months? Well, for starters, there were many, many hospital visits in November - such large crowds that we were once asked to leave by a nurse. (On a related note, Cindy wants more people to visit again now. Go say hi to Brad if you've got the time. Even if you don't, make the time and do it anyway. It's the holidays and people need to be with their friends).

Some hospital quotes....

Somebody: We shouldn't be so loud.
Kels: Who cares, everybody here is in a coma.

After the second night, some of us went to The Spaghetti Factory for a late dinner. Scott, Bobby and Buchs ordered Caesars. At one point, Kels just broke into a mini fit of laughter - not even because she said something funny but because she almost said it. Yes, we're now so impressed with ourselves we're laughing at stuff we don't even say. What was so funny you ask?

"Scott, can I eat your bean?"

Yep. Not even going to say anything more about that. Nothing, I swear.

There was also one strangely funny moment, when Kels and I realized we had both ordered the EXACT same thing, right down to drinks and appetizers:

Caesar salad
Corona
Seafood Linguine

Buchs: You ordered the same thing? You're like an old married couple!
Me and Kels at the same time: Shutup!!
Buchs: Proved my point right there.

Ugh. Outsmarted by Kyle Bucholtz. Youch.

And, now to liquidate some of the older quotes - from the Halloween party at Dave's house. Brad, I'm doing this for your benefit, because I know you won't have any memory of the night. But here's the rundown: You were Batman, Sean was a hideous-looking Robin. There were young girls there who were sloots. You may or may not have got with one of them - I honestly can't remember. Just to make it sound better, let's say you got with three. At once.

Nice work.

"I wish you could just push a button and be drunk." - Kels

"What's in my pocket? Oh, it's cheese." - Kels

When some young sluts left early...
"What, curfew?" - Kels

Buchs (to some girl): Wanna go upstairs?
Kelsey (butting in): Worse two minutes of your life.

Jer: I don't know why Colorado signed May.
Brad: Maybe because his last name is a month.

"I have the hugest wedgie. It's like a taco in my ass." - Brad.

Wow, sure feels good to see Brad's name attached to a stupid quote again, even if it is old.

Tune in later on while I purge the rest of the quotes and stories while we play catch-up.

Coming up: Dinner party at Tara's house, some random parties, and me and Kelsey go to a Canucks' game.

I know I said earlier this blog was on hiatus until Brad got better, but I'm making an exception today. And no, it's not a happy exception either. Sorry.

When I was five or six years old we bought a dog, Buffy. Small, maltese, used to fit in my dad's shirt pocket. Somehow, the little guy stuck around for 19 years - long, long after most dogs have had their day.

Still not sure how he managed that, to be honest - thats' 133 in dog years, for christ's sakes. It got to the point these last few years and months where I seriously wondered if he'd stick around forever.

Sure, he got blinder and blinder, and deafer, and the last months seemed to really struggle breathing at times, but somehow he always fought it off.

'Til yesterday, when we had to put him down. He just couldn't breathe this time...poor guy.

I don't really know what else to say, other than he's gone and I miss him.

Just one more thing to tack onto this trainwreck that's been the last 2 months I guess.

See ya pal.