Almost every single day at work, between about 9:10 and 9:45 a.m., I walk to the nearby Tim Horton's with a few colleagues. We do this a) because we like coffee and b) because it gets us the hell out of the office for a few minutes, for a little mini-break.
We've had this schedule for about 2-3 years, and we like it. But of course, our schedule is by now well-known to the rest of the office, which causes conversations such as the following about once every month or so:
"You guys and your Tim Horton's runs... Ya know, if you drank the office coffee or brought it from home, instead of going there every day, think of all the money you'd save!"
And of course, this same exact thing happened earlier today.
Now, a couple things....
First, when the person who tells me how much money I could save if I could just control my caffeine addiction is a smoker, well... that's just the best. No matter how much I like the people I work with, I will never pass up an opportunity to call people on their shit. That means you, Smoky – next time you chide me on my expensive habits, I'd appreciate it if you did so while you were outside hackin' a dart. (Because I like irony.)
Secondly, don't tell me how much money I can save. Don't you think I know how much money I could save? I mean, I'm not an idiot. I can do simple math. Every time I go into Tim Hortons, I am not surprised that the employees there expect money in exchange for the coffee they hand me. Things ain't free. I get it.
I know that $1.78 every day adds up. But just because I'm aware of it, doesn't mean I want to actually do the math and be presented with the cold, hard numbers. Don't you think if I cared about the final tally I would've stopped years ago? It's not like I'll be shocked by whatever the actual number is, shape up and change my ways.
I'll probably just shrug my shoulders, offer a "Hmmph" and get on with my day, safe in the knowledge that at least I don't have a heroin addiction.
But let's get back to today, and my morning confrontation with Mrs. Math Whiz (who, by the way, smokes, and has delighted us with this same conversation numerous times).
"Think of the money you could save..." she started.
"Yeah, I know. I'd save a lot of money. But you know what I'd spend it on?" I said. "I'd take all that coffee money and buy the world's best earplugs, so I wouldn't have to listen to people tell me to what to spend my money on anymore."
"Either that, or maybe I'd take up smoking."
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