As of this week, the washrooms in our company's building – which we share with one other business and many empty suites – require a key to enter. This is partly to do with the building changing ownership, and the new company wanting this rule, and partly because having unlocked toilets is an apparent security risk.
Not sure what security risks are posed by a urinal, toilet and a couple sinks – terrorist activity is pretty low 'round these parts – but whatever the case, this is the situation we're faced with. None of us like it – we think it's a tad unnecessary, not to mention a bit of a privacy invasion, reminiscent of elementary school when you had to ask permission to pee. I mean, some of us pee an awful lot, which is what happens when you drink 3 cups of coffee, a Diet Coke and about 5 glasses of water in an eight-hour shift, but so much for sneaking out gracefully and quietly....
There are about 4 keys for both the women's and men's rooms (soon to be less, as people lose them. My department has already lost one. It was bound to happen.), which is fine, but there is also a separate handicapped washroom on our floor, and the building owners did not give us a key to this washroom. Now, there are no handicapped people in our office, but this bathroom is the only one that isn't communal in style – and it is also a bit out of the way – and as such is very popular for people who have to drop a deuce, or just like their privacy.
There was the usual uproar about how we should ask for or demand a key from building management, but nothing has come of it quite yet, and the uproar has largely died as the week has gone on, as people learn to accept that they'll no longer be able to shit in peace.
What they did not do, however, is take one of the regular men's/women's keys and try it in the handicapped washroom door, just to see what would happen.
But I'm smarter than everyone else so I, of course, did this right away. And ever since Tuesday, I've had my own private bathroom, because I haven't told anyone about my discovery.
And I don't plan on doing it, either.
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