:: An intelligent discussion on riots, and how to prevent them ::

Scotty: What did you get for your birthday, Canucks tickets for the next four rounds?
Me: Ha, no, I got a watch. But going to games cuts into my rioting time anyway.
Scotty: You're the third person who has said that to me today.
Me: Haha.
Scotty: It's pretty bad when you have to have anti-rioting commercials.
Me: I know, so dumb. I mean, listen, if I'm gonna riot, I'm gonna riot*. I'm not going to pull the gas-soaked rag out of the police car gas-tank just because I suddenly remember that Kevin Bieksa told me not to.
Scotty: I know... I can't be responsible when I'm liquored up.
Me: No, of course not. If you were down there last year, every cop would have been Boston Crabbed to death.
Scotty: How fitting, too.


*Dear law enforcement and other Internet do-gooders: I'm not actually going to riot. Chill out.

:: Scott the Super Villain ::

The following conversation took place via BBM last week, but first this: With his neatly trimmed beard, it has recently come to my attention that Scott bears a startling resemblance to Hank Scorpio - CEO of Globex Corporation, international/evil supergenius, and runner of Fun Runs.

Don't believe me? Well, take a look for yourself:



See? It's uncanny.

I mentioned this to Kelsey on Facebook the other day, and she in turn passed along my compliment/observation to Scott. The conversation quickly got away from us.*

(*Warning: the following is full of Simpsons and sports references. May fly over the heads of the non-obsessed.)

Scott: Nice Hank Scorpio reference.
Me: Thank you. Your resemblance is uncanny. Now just get yourself some moccasins and a business hammock and you're all set.
Scott: Will do. And I will take that as a compliment, (Hank) is a pretty cool dude.
Me: I would definitely take it as a compliment. Feel free to blow up a bridge, if people don't take you seriously at work.
Scott: I'm gonna take over the Eastern seaboard.
Me: Good for you. When you get home, there's gonna be an extra floor on your house.
(brief pause, for regular conversation)
Scott: Now Nick, I know that you wanted the Dallas Cowboys, but I hope this gets you one step closer to achieving that dream of yours.
Me: Aw! The Denver Broncos?!
Me: By the way, I love the fact that the whole team shows up on the Simpson's lawn. You think when Francesco Aquilini bought the Canucks, Hank and Daniel set up some nets in his driveway and played some street hockey?
Scott: Yes, they'd be in full gear, too.
Me: Absolutely.
Scott: Speaking of the Broncos, McDaniels fired today.
Me: Really? Wow.
Scott: Yep. Won his first six games, went 3 for 20 since.
Me: That is poor. Even the Maple Leafs think that's a bad record.
Scott: Yeah, even JaMarcus Russell has a better winning percentage.
Me: When asked to comment, Russell declined because he had his mouth full of cheeseburgers.
Scott: ..... and his hand was stuck in a bucket of KFC.
Me: KFC and performance-enhancing steroids. Steroids which - judging by his awful career - later turned out to only be Skittles.
Scott: He wanted to get in shape, so he drank nothing by milkshakes.
Me: Diet milkshakes?
Scott: Russell: "Oh, crap!"

"God I love vodka. It just sneaks up on you - it's like a silent assasin." - Me

"Wow, its like 5 o'clock and I haven't said anything stupid yet that you would put on your blog. What the hell is going on?" - Bucholtz

After Bucholtz found out the best man in some (all?) East Indian weddings ends up with a lot of cash...
Buchs: Hurry up and get married Bobby. I need some money.
Bobby: Well, help find me a wife first then dammi–.
Buchs: AMANDA!!!

Ouch. Although, in Amanda's favour, that's probably an upgrade. (Just kidding Buchs)

So, another weekend.

I haven't been in a posting mode lately, which you've probably noticed. And even after a pretty solid weekend – a long weekend, even – like we've just had, I'm still not really feelin' it. So bear with me. It's not necessarily that I don't feel like it, I guess, it's more like I don't have anything to say. We'll see how much I can write...

This weekend was the usual, although fairly low-key - for me, anyhow. Started off Friday as it usually does, with me and Buchs sitting in my living room at about 3:30 drinking a couple (or 6) beers. Went quickly down to Sam's for a few pints and tequila shots with Chris, Jenna, D-Mac, and Chris's boss Mike (Now I know two funny brown guys! Solid.)

Anyhow, we ended up at Derrick's after that, chillin in the garage/TV room. It was a little chilly, but it was still a pretty good time - after awhile most people showed up, had some drinks, and then, starving as I hadn't ate anything since 11:30 a.m., me and Buchs headed back to my place, with a quick Subway stop first.

Normally, Subway after midnight is pretty uneventful - I know this well, having made Subway a regular late-night stop. But I'd never been there with a drunk Bucholtz before. Within 5 minutes, he'd managed to make fun of the two 18-year-old douchebags in front of us in the line, confuse the "sandwich artist" about his choice of sub, and then throw the whole thing - my order too - on his Visa for some reason.

There was a minor altercation as we drove away, which basically just involved the two aforementioned douchebags yelling at us for making fun of them, Bucholtz hollering and laughing at them, and me driving away.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, it involved watching about half of 8 Mile, watching Buchs spill his sandwich onto the rain-soaked courtyard outside my front door (and then scooping it all back up again, good as new...mmm), and then going to bed. I woke up at 4 a.m. and found Bucholtz passed out on my couch, snoring loud as a friggin chainsaw, dvd player still on. And, for some reason, the fireplace too.

Saturday was Scotty's birthday extravaganza, which was supposed to begin at Montana's, but due to ridiculous 2-hour wait times, began at Red Robin instead - apparently the only place in Langley capable of seating 16 people on short notice. (As an aside, when did restaurants stop taking reservations? How is this in any way, shape or form good for business? Turning away 16 people who are going to eat, and most likely drink, a significant amount? Genius. Fucking idiots, I say.)

So Robin's it was, complete with onion ring towers, fried cheese, and Scott standing on his seat getting sung too. After that, it was back to Scott's place for drinking, drinking, and some more drinking, courtesy of bartender-Scott, who busted out all kinds of booze, which he'd apparently been saving for such an occassion. Broken-down golf carts, paralyzers, vodka, and some new creations, which including redbull and cranberry juice, and one with lemon gatorade.

I'd like to say I partook in the festivities as much as everyone else, but i did not. This was due somewhat to the fact that I didn't really feel like getting blitzed, but also because I had no ride home, and was not about to a) leave my car all the way in South Surrey or b) stay there. So I took it easy. Couple drinks, couple shots, one typical conversation with a drunken Sean in the driveway and home I went.

But not before I saw way too much guy-ass for my liking. Ridiculous fellas, ridiculous.