Wednesday, April 29, 2009

:: Two very different methods* (with footnotes!) ::

I got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, along with a couple games and two controllers. Now, due to my busy, busy schedule, which is full of charity events, bottle drives for the blind, and volunteering at soup kitchens**, I have not played it as much as I would have liked.

Therefore, considering Christmas was only four months ago and also considering the system and its parts have not been overused, one would expect all parts to continue to operate in an acceptable working manner. However, as Christene and I discovered last week when trying to play Price is Right***, this is not the case with one of my controllers, which is apparently broken. We tried swapping out the batteries, re-synching it, but nothing worked.

I happened to mention this a few days later while talking with my mom, who said that she probably had the reciept still, from the department store she bought the Wii from. Even though I figured that, four months later, there would be no exchange or refund, I told my mom that some day soon I'd swing by and grab the reciept and see if I could get it exchanged for a new one.

But my mom knows me too well, and quickly ki-boshed my idea.

"Why don't I just come get the controller one day, and then the next day I'm at the mall, I'll take it and try and exchange it?" she suggested.

Never before have I been one to pass up an opportunity in which somebody will do something so that I don't have to, I agreed to this new plan.

Other than the fact that my mom is just a nice person, the following hypothetical**** example is the reason why she suggested her plan as an alternative to mine:

What would happen if I took the controller back...
Me: Hi, this controller is broken, so I'd like to exchange it. Here is the receipt.
Employee: Sure, how long ago did you purchase it?
Me: Just before Christmas.
Employee: Oh, I'm sorry, our return police is only 15 days.
Me: 15 days? That's it?! You've gotta be fucking kidding me. That's fucking pathetic.
Employee: Sir, I don't appreciate your tone. Would you like to speak to the manager?
Me: Tell your fucking manager he can eat my ass, douchebag! And fuck you and your god damn store.
Employee: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Then I'd probably knock over an entire display of glassware or perfume on the way out the door.

Conversely, this is how my mom handled the situation...
Mom: This controller is broken, so I'd like to exchange it. Here is the reciept.
Employee: Sure, how long ago did you purchase it?
Mom: In December.
Employee: Oh, I'm sorry, our return police is only 15 days.
Mom: Only 15 days? That's terrible. Can I please talk to the manager?
Employee: Sure, no problem.
Manager: I'm sorry, our return policy is only 15 days.
Mom: So you're telling me that if I came into your store and spent $500 on something, and then 16 days later it broke, you wouldn't replace it? That's not right - you should stand behind the products you sell. I'd like a new controller, please.
Manager: OK, you're right. I'll get you a new one. Sorry for the problem.
Manager (after a few minutes): I'm sorry, but it turns out we don't actually have any individual controllers left in stock. We only have ones that come with Wii Play.
Mom: Okay....
Manager: Here, you can just take this one. Enjoy the game.

Then, 10 minutes later, my mom calls me and tells me the story. She ends with this, before saying goodbye...

"That's why it pays to be nice, Nick, instead of being a jerk to people."

Point taken.


*one of which is successful; the other, definitely not.
**schedule actually filled with Internet porn, watching King of Queens reruns and eating nachos.
***Awesome.
****hypothetical but pretty fucking accurate.

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