Classic Times: A collection of curse words and failures

"If I made a drinking game out of how many times I logged onto Facebook during the day I'd be dead by noon." - Meghan

"Is it bad that I just looked at the dishes in my sink and, rather than thinking 'I should wash them' I thought 'Meh, at least four more days 'til I'm out of dishes?" - Meghan again, on a roll.

:: Impressive, repulsive or somewhere in between? ::

At work today a few of us were, as we often are, wasting time talking about mindless, non-important stuff, and somehow we got onto the subject of drinking. Then somebody posed a question that baffled me to the point where I don't even want to think about it anymore because it hurts my brain:

In your lifetime, how many beers do you think you've drank?

My instant response was "17!" but then, when I realized that he said "in your lifetime" and not "during lunch" I took my answer back. Now, it's easy just to say "A lot" but try really thinking about it.

People's answers will obviously vary wildy because some people occasionally drink other drinks - like me and delicious vodka or Jeremy and whiskey - while some of you, like Chris, Sean and Ian, are strictly beer drinkers. Also, we're all operating on varying levels of alcohol addiction here.

Still, it's a staggering number of beers. Thousands. It's especially staggering when you think back to your drinking "prime." I've been drinking at the professional level since I was 18 years old. My prime came when I was about 21 or 22. It was not uncommon for us to show up at my parent's house, or Jeremy's basement, and between three people polish of a couple of 2-4s, and then still have a need to go get more.

I couldn't do that now, obviously. Most of us couldn't. I drink probably 1/8th of my former volume, which is likely for the best, but think about how many weekends such binges actually happened. Then add in all those booze-addled camping trips, birthday shakers. Boring Fridays. Sharks Club night. Hockey games. Tuesdays.

It all adds up. So, how many beers do you think you've drank?

That was our "if a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound" moment and work today. And now it's yours to ponder while you down pint after pint this fine Friday evening.

Enjoy.