:: 30 for 30 ::
Last month, Lanette – who turns 30 this year – posted a list of 30 goals she wishes to accomplish before her birthday in October. I, like Lanette, am also turning 30 in 2011, and while I am not scared of the big 3-0 either, it's probably not a bad fencepost at which to take stock of things and come up with some goals.
However, keep in my two things: 1) Lanette seems to be a much more professionally drive, goal-oriented, motivated person than me (case in point: one of her goals involves something called a vision board, whatever the fuck that is. Unless that means "get an eye test" you won't find that on my list.)
and 2) Unlike Lanette, who has eight months until the big day, I turn 30 in mid April, so I don't have a lot of time here, people. My goals, therefore, have been adjusted accordingly, although a few for later in the year still made the list.
So, with that preamble out of the way, I present to you, my 30 for 30 list:
1. Get my basement finished, or damn-near close to finished.
2. Install some shelves and cupboards in my otherwise bare, unorganized garage.
3. Find a new job, or get more serious about looking for one (ie: at least polish up the old resume).
4. Catch up on all the movies I want to watch. (Because I don't spend enough time on the couch as is).
5. Play in a poker game in Vegas.
6. Go on a trip. (Vegas already booked for my birthday weekend, so I'm one down already!)
7. Buy some bookshelves and a desk, so the spare room/office can be more than a storage pit.
8. Try not to meet any more people. Enough is enough.
9. Lose 15 pounds. (More is needed of course, but we've only got 2 months here, remember.)
10. Become more patient with my jerk of a dog.
11. Fulfill my lifelong goal of having a TV in my bathroom (see #1 in the list).
12. Actually win some money – however little – in Las Vegas for once.
13. Buy some more books for my Kindle.
14. Get better at Angry Birds.
15. Tell somebody off with a better line than "Fuck you, go to hell!."
16. Become a better beer-shotgunner.
17. Break 100 a few more times while playing golf.
18. Eat an entire large pizza.
19. Expand my drinking horizons to beverages other than simply beer and vodka.
20. Spend an entire day not wearing pants.
21. Screw it - spend two entire days not wearing pants.
22. Don't slack off. Follow things through right until they are finishe...
23. Find a good torrent site to illegally download ebooks.
24. Speaking of books, finish the stack of regular books I have yet to read.
25. Try not to get annoyed at Christene for leaving her laundry everywhere.
26. Continue being awesome.
27. Find out who the asshole is who keeps throwing garbage and apple cores into my backyard (and front sidewalk/boulevard, too), and beat them with a sack of doorknobs.
28. Fix the front gate latch.
29. Make fewer goals.
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Thursday, November 19, 2009
:: 10 Things I don't understand ::
In light of Christene's excellent 101 Things List, I decided I needed to come up with a new list of my own (I've already done the 101 Things). Now, this list is definitely not going to reach the century mark, but I figured 10 was a good place to start.
So, here I present to you, a list of things that continually baffle me – in no specific order.
1. Vegas vs. Vancouver
For some suburban-types, a night – or a weekend – on the town in Vancouver is a fun thing to do. Maybe you go to a concert or some kind of event or casino, grab some dinner, then go for some drinks. Then maybe you stay at a downtown hotel. Seems fun, right? Well, Vegas – the city I'd call the undisputed champion of fun – is gonna hurt the bank account no worse than that, and maybe even less. (Assuming, of course, that you don't bet your mortgage on the wrong colour while playing roulette).
Forgetting for the moment the cost of whatever show/event you've chosen to see downtown, the cost of a room at a hotel in Vancouver is going to run you about $200 a night, sometimes more. So for a weekend, you're lookin' at $400 right there. Factor in a night of drinking for two people (well over $120 if you're any good at it) and two dinners dinner (another $150 at least), and you're suddenly at $670 without entertainment.
Conversely, to fly to Las Vegas (out of Bellingham) on a Friday evening and stay at a middle-of-the-road hotel right on the strip, then fly home Sunday night, is only about $300-$350 a person. Sure, you need gambling money and everything, but if you hit up a Vancouver casino on your big night out, it's no different.
Basically, my point is this: Even if Vegas is maybe $100 more expensive, what would you rather do on your weekend? The fact that the prices between the two are so close absolutely astounds me, considering Plan A includes a 45-minute jaunt on a SkyTrain that likely smells like urine, whereas Plan B includes flying 2,255 km into another country and staying at a nice hotel.
I'm not complaining, I'm just saying it's weird.
2. Women
I think this one is one the list for pretty obvious reasons.
3. Work productivity
Now, I don't want to jinx anything here, but for the last few years it's always amazed me how I can waste so much of my work day without getting noticed. There are more than a few days where I go into work knowing that I have very little to do and that I'm going to have to occupy my time by any of the following: making multiple coffee runs, checking Facebook, browsing Deadspin and the numerous other blogs and websites at left, and, you know, writing blogs.
I've thought about it, and I think the reason I'm so bored and the reason I'm never caught is the same thing: I'm very productive. I get more work done than most – and quickly. Therefore, my work ethic is never, ever questioned, and in the past, it's actually been applauded. However, like the super smart kid in elementary school who works too fast and then becomes a disruption because he's bored, I find myself with time to kill.
Now, I could understand if nobody noticed this situation for a week or two, maybe a month. But this has been the case now for a very long time. Just now, for example, about six people have walked behind me and, I assume, seen me typing this on the screen. Not a single person asked me what I was doing, or even offered a glance in my direction.
Therefore, if they don't care, I refuse to feel guilty about it. (Besides, is it considered slacking if I still get all my work done?)
It's a Walt Freakin' Whitman poem! Used to sell jeans. Seriously, what the fuck?
5. The E-Trade baby.
Where does a kid that age get so much money? And where the hell are his parents while he is puking and/or squandering the family fortune on penny stocks? And in that one commercial, how did that one black baby get there? Public transit? So many plot holes.
6. Fort McMurray
More specifically, I don't understand people's facination with it as some sort of get-out-of-jail free, pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow kind of place. But I've complained and argued this point many times before, so I digress. Still makes my list though.
7. Parsley
There was some in my fridge last month. I can't remember what recipe called for it, but I can guarantee to you that it didn't make a difference. There's a reason it only costs 42 cents a bushel – because it's pointless.
8. Major League Baseball's Gold Glove Awards
By now, the problems with this award have been well documented by people smarter than I, but how nothing ever changes is beyond me. They're becoming a bigger joke than the Oscars (I still stand by my long-held view that American Beauty is among the world's most terrible movies ever made).
9. The legions of teenage Twi-Hards.
My head nearly explodes when I try to wrap my brain around how fans of Twilight think, act and conduct themselves. I get so aggravated by them that I cannot properly express my true thoughts – which are a combination of anger, annoyance, and overall bafflement (and an urge to kill). These fans are this generation's Dungeons and Dragons' kids – huge, huge nerds. For further proof, go to YouTube and do a search for a user named Megster1992. I dare ya.
10. How people afford houses
This is right at the top of my list these days, as I make vain attempts to figure out how I'll ever be able to live in a real house – by real I mean one that has a yard and no strata. I have probably $75,000 in equity in my townhouse and make a mildly-above-average salary; Christene makes decent money, too – and has two jobs. Yet I still can't make the numbers work.
Yes, I could complain – and do – about how real estate in this city costs way, way, way too much, but other people I know, in similar situations, seem to make it work. I just imagine going to the bank and them saying I can't have any money, because that seems to be what happens to me in such meetings. I just don't know how some folks make it happen. If you have any secrets, lemme know. (Please).
Friday, May 22, 2009
:: Bad mistakes, we've made a few ::
Right now, the illustrious Cannons - reigning champions of Langley Mixed Slo-Pitch's division E1 - are in the midst of a bit of a slide. Losers of three straight. Losers of four of the last five or so. And, in Jeremy's case two games back, losers of our cool, too. (editor's note: Jeremy recently became the second Cannon to be kicked out of a game. Kudos, good sir. You are in good company.)
However, recent mistakes aside, this current misstep is far from our worst. As such, I present to you, in no particular order, the Worst Mistakes in Cannons History:
1. "Hey Nick, welcome back. You're playing third."
The inaugural Cannons season began in early April five years ago. The team won its first two games, and was something like 3-1 after the first few weeks. Then I, our standout third-baseman-turned-first baseman-turned-outfielder-because-there's-no-other-spot-to-hide-him returned from a nine-month sabbatical in Peace River, Alberta. We lost in my debut game, then 17 more in a row, and finished the season at 3-19. I like to think I helped.
2. Bucholtz plays drunk.
Friday night game. Buch's parents - even his lovely grandma - come to watch him play. Bucholtz, who has been at the peelers with his crew from work ever since mid-afternoon, arrives drunk and beligerent. For some reason, we let him play. He strikes out looking in the first inning, questions the umpire loudly and emphatically, then is benched, and sits on the bench the rest of the game. Diana is not proud.
3. Funtastic 2007. Um, I'm sure we all remember this...
For those you don't recall. This was taken after a drunken, very-public streaking of the Canada Day fireworks in Enderby. The all-male streakathon culminated in a group slip-and-side effort into dish soap, which stung eyes and nearly blinded everyone involved. Upon photograpic review, Bucholtz came perilously close to sliding right into both Sean and Groz's naked groinal areas.
4. Dana holds at third
It was the semifinals of the playoffs, and the Cannons have made a miraculous run from the last-place seed into the Final Four. We are down by a run in the final inning, and Dana - who has wheels - is at second base. The ball is smacked into the outfield, and it looks like we're about to tie the ol' score. Except whoever is coaching third - can't remember if it was Jeremy or Bucholtz or Ian - inexplicably holds Dana at three. Oh, there were two outs, by the way.
And sure, Katie came into the game and saved the day with a swinging bunt that scored Dana which is, to this day, is among the greatest plays in team history. And sure, we won the game easily in the extra inning, but still, that was not wise coaching. I would've sent her home - but unfortunately I'd already been kicked out of the game. Also, I was banned by my own team from coaching third base. But that's not the point here.
and finally, the last great mistake (Which ironically was actually the first)....
5. "Hey Mike, want to play on the softball team we're starting?"
Right now, the illustrious Cannons - reigning champions of Langley Mixed Slo-Pitch's division E1 - are in the midst of a bit of a slide. Losers of three straight. Losers of four of the last five or so. And, in Jeremy's case two games back, losers of our cool, too. (editor's note: Jeremy recently became the second Cannon to be kicked out of a game. Kudos, good sir. You are in good company.)
However, recent mistakes aside, this current misstep is far from our worst. As such, I present to you, in no particular order, the Worst Mistakes in Cannons History:
1. "Hey Nick, welcome back. You're playing third."
The inaugural Cannons season began in early April five years ago. The team won its first two games, and was something like 3-1 after the first few weeks. Then I, our standout third-baseman-turned-first baseman-turned-outfielder-because-there's-no-other-spot-to-hide-him returned from a nine-month sabbatical in Peace River, Alberta. We lost in my debut game, then 17 more in a row, and finished the season at 3-19. I like to think I helped.
2. Bucholtz plays drunk.
Friday night game. Buch's parents - even his lovely grandma - come to watch him play. Bucholtz, who has been at the peelers with his crew from work ever since mid-afternoon, arrives drunk and beligerent. For some reason, we let him play. He strikes out looking in the first inning, questions the umpire loudly and emphatically, then is benched, and sits on the bench the rest of the game. Diana is not proud.
3. Funtastic 2007. Um, I'm sure we all remember this...
For those you don't recall. This was taken after a drunken, very-public streaking of the Canada Day fireworks in Enderby. The all-male streakathon culminated in a group slip-and-side effort into dish soap, which stung eyes and nearly blinded everyone involved. Upon photograpic review, Bucholtz came perilously close to sliding right into both Sean and Groz's naked groinal areas.
4. Dana holds at third
It was the semifinals of the playoffs, and the Cannons have made a miraculous run from the last-place seed into the Final Four. We are down by a run in the final inning, and Dana - who has wheels - is at second base. The ball is smacked into the outfield, and it looks like we're about to tie the ol' score. Except whoever is coaching third - can't remember if it was Jeremy or Bucholtz or Ian - inexplicably holds Dana at three. Oh, there were two outs, by the way.
And sure, Katie came into the game and saved the day with a swinging bunt that scored Dana which is, to this day, is among the greatest plays in team history. And sure, we won the game easily in the extra inning, but still, that was not wise coaching. I would've sent her home - but unfortunately I'd already been kicked out of the game. Also, I was banned by my own team from coaching third base. But that's not the point here.
and finally, the last great mistake (Which ironically was actually the first)....
5. "Hey Mike, want to play on the softball team we're starting?"
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Christene: My phone bill for December had $155 in text message fees. That was before I had a data plan.
Me: I can't help but feel partly responsible.
Christene: Of course you're responsible!
"Pregnancy is one big camel toe." - Kristyl, on ill-fitting pants.
"It actually feels like you're masturbating if you have sex with a black chick in the dark." - Sean, as politically correct as ever.
"I quit smoking weed for awhile, but then I was like, 'Hey, I enjoy being stoned.' So now I smoke weed again." - Sean, again.
Watching some '80s movie on TV...
Me: That guy looks like Judge Reinhold.
Christene: It was the '80s, everbody looked like Judge Reinhold.
"There's a lot of lesbians in Blaine." - Jolene, a co-worker. She said this at lunch, completely off-topic and unprovoked.
Speak first, think later...
Me: I want to go to Australia.
Kristyl: Me too, but I don't think I could handle the drive.
Me: uhhhh...
Kristyl: Flight. I mean flight.
"We saw a lot of sights. We didn't neccesarily go into many of them, but we drove past a lot on our way to a pub." - Kristyl again, reminiscing on the trip to Ireland her and Christene took a couple years ago.
:: And the award goes to... ::
Because it's Oscar Night, I've decided to put on my best tux (actually a stained wife-beater and some fleece sweat pants) and hand out some awards of my own.
Best attempt to out douche-ify Randy River: Old Navy, which is currently selling a shit-ton of board shorts with skulls on them.
Raddest Facebook admission: My cousin Steve, who admitted in one of those 25 Random Things About Me lists that he once "was so high I made a platter of sandwiches for people I was talking to on the phone."
Best Way to Spend a Sunday: Me, lazy fuck that I am, for waking up at 8 a.m. but not getting out of bed until 2:15.
Best Way to Get Out of Household Chores: Me again, a two-time winner. On Saturday, by coincedence, I popped by my parent's house to say hi just as my mom and dad were out washing their cars. So of course, mine ended up nice and shiny, too. I helped....sort of. Also, on Sunday, I had a bunch of shirts I needed to iron for work, but my iron sort of crapped out (it sucks on the best of days. I'd buy a new one, but it's a fucking iron, so who cares?). So I brought a bunch of my dress shirts over to my parents' house when I went there for dinner, fully content to, and planning on, ironing them myself (really). But my mom did it for me without me even knowing, because she's my mom and this is what she does.
The What a Shocker Award: Heath Ledger's Best Supporting Actor Oscar win for his role as The Joker. Not saying he wasn't deserving - he was amazingin The Dark Knight - but c'mon, they've been hyping this since last summer, obviously he was gonna take it. Even Stevie Wonder saw this coming (*rimshot*).
Best Dressed: The guy I saw at the Walnut Grove Pub Friday night, who was wearing a black T-shirt with "Spitters are Quitters" printed large across the chest. Classy buddy, classy.
Best Idea: Jenna's pre-purchase of Mariners/Padres tickets for our first night in Phoenix. Fuck I am pumped - and less than a month to go!
Best/Most Terrifying Realization That We are Getting Old Award: Christene and me, watching Kids. When you watch the movie as a 15-year-old, you think "Wow, these kids are bad ass - drinking, fucking and wandering around New York. I want to be like them (minus the AIDS)." When we watched it on Saturday, as quasi-responsible 27-year-old adults, we both said the same thing at the same time: Where are these kids' parents, anyway?
Me: I can't help but feel partly responsible.
Christene: Of course you're responsible!
"Pregnancy is one big camel toe." - Kristyl, on ill-fitting pants.
"It actually feels like you're masturbating if you have sex with a black chick in the dark." - Sean, as politically correct as ever.
"I quit smoking weed for awhile, but then I was like, 'Hey, I enjoy being stoned.' So now I smoke weed again." - Sean, again.
Watching some '80s movie on TV...
Me: That guy looks like Judge Reinhold.
Christene: It was the '80s, everbody looked like Judge Reinhold.
"There's a lot of lesbians in Blaine." - Jolene, a co-worker. She said this at lunch, completely off-topic and unprovoked.
Speak first, think later...
Me: I want to go to Australia.
Kristyl: Me too, but I don't think I could handle the drive.
Me: uhhhh...
Kristyl: Flight. I mean flight.
"We saw a lot of sights. We didn't neccesarily go into many of them, but we drove past a lot on our way to a pub." - Kristyl again, reminiscing on the trip to Ireland her and Christene took a couple years ago.
:: And the award goes to... ::
Because it's Oscar Night, I've decided to put on my best tux (actually a stained wife-beater and some fleece sweat pants) and hand out some awards of my own.
Best attempt to out douche-ify Randy River: Old Navy, which is currently selling a shit-ton of board shorts with skulls on them.
Raddest Facebook admission: My cousin Steve, who admitted in one of those 25 Random Things About Me lists that he once "was so high I made a platter of sandwiches for people I was talking to on the phone."
Best Way to Spend a Sunday: Me, lazy fuck that I am, for waking up at 8 a.m. but not getting out of bed until 2:15.
Best Way to Get Out of Household Chores: Me again, a two-time winner. On Saturday, by coincedence, I popped by my parent's house to say hi just as my mom and dad were out washing their cars. So of course, mine ended up nice and shiny, too. I helped....sort of. Also, on Sunday, I had a bunch of shirts I needed to iron for work, but my iron sort of crapped out (it sucks on the best of days. I'd buy a new one, but it's a fucking iron, so who cares?). So I brought a bunch of my dress shirts over to my parents' house when I went there for dinner, fully content to, and planning on, ironing them myself (really). But my mom did it for me without me even knowing, because she's my mom and this is what she does.
The What a Shocker Award: Heath Ledger's Best Supporting Actor Oscar win for his role as The Joker. Not saying he wasn't deserving - he was amazingin The Dark Knight - but c'mon, they've been hyping this since last summer, obviously he was gonna take it. Even Stevie Wonder saw this coming (*rimshot*).
Best Dressed: The guy I saw at the Walnut Grove Pub Friday night, who was wearing a black T-shirt with "Spitters are Quitters" printed large across the chest. Classy buddy, classy.
Best Idea: Jenna's pre-purchase of Mariners/Padres tickets for our first night in Phoenix. Fuck I am pumped - and less than a month to go!
Best/Most Terrifying Realization That We are Getting Old Award: Christene and me, watching Kids. When you watch the movie as a 15-year-old, you think "Wow, these kids are bad ass - drinking, fucking and wandering around New York. I want to be like them (minus the AIDS)." When we watched it on Saturday, as quasi-responsible 27-year-old adults, we both said the same thing at the same time: Where are these kids' parents, anyway?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A few days ago, Lanette posted on her blog something called "100 things about me" which, of course, encouraged Kelsey to post a similar thing on her blog, but instead called "102 things..." because Kelsey can't count very well.
So now, because I'm nothing if not a follower, I have a similar post, with one unique twist:
:100 things about me, plus 1 thing about someone else ::
1. I am 27 years old, but cannot grow a beard.
2. I am a very good liar, which I learned at Grade 7 camp, when I played a prank on someone and, with a straight face, convinced the prank victim that I had nothing to do with it, and instead implicated someone else. Instead of getting upset with me, the camp counsellor who witnessed our conversation complimented me on my skills of deception.
3. My favourite song of all-time is the Tragically Hip's Ahead by a Century.
4. My middle name is Kelly.
5. Kelsey's middle name is Dawn.
6. I enjoy a good game of extreme bocce.
7. I'm a charter member of the Grammar Police.
8. I spend most of my time at work e-mailing Wayne's World references to my co-worker, and text messaging Simpsons' quotes to Bucholtz, yet I am always praised for my incredible work ethic, and ability to get shit done.
9. I have a press pass for the Vancouver Canucks.
10. I'm hungover right now.
11. When it comes to success with the oppposite sex, I was in a slump for a very, very long time.
12. I'm doing better now.
13. In Grade 6, I won a fight against the toughest kid in school, Clay, because I hit him in the stomach with a hockey stick.
14. On one particular New Year's Eve, about 3 a.m., I got in such a loud argument with someone on the street in front on my parent's house that it woke my dad up, even though his bedroom is at the very back of the house.
15. I'm sometimes a very confrontational, obnoxious drunk.
16. I've lived in South Surrey, Langley, Kamloops and Peace River.
17. In Kamloops, I once helped throw an old Christmas tree off a 2nd floor balcony, over a fence and onto a muddy embankment.
18. The next morning, when I heard the landlord come to the door and tell one of the (non-involed) housemates that they had to go get the tree, I got up from sleeping on the couch, grabbed my stuff, and went home before anyone else woke up, so I didn't have to help. (Sorry Mike, Meghan, Melissa and Lorne...sort of)
19. I regret going right from high school to college, and then getting that done in four years and then getting a job. I wish I had taken a year to travel.
20. If I didn't live in B.C., I think I'd like to live in northern California.
21. I work in what most experts consider a dying industry.
22. Two of the playlists on my iTunes player are called, "Of course I'm drunk, asshole" and "Keep running, Fatty" (for the gym).
23. My brother is my best friend, and about 10 years ago I successfully stole all his best friends for myself because I decided they were a lot better people than the d-bags I'd been hanging out with in high school and my first year of university. I was right.
24. I successfully swindled my second dog, Digby, away from another friend, because I told everyone Diggers was better off with us. He was, for sure, but mostly I just didn't want to give the little guy back.
25. I've always been "the responsible one" "the funny one" or the "nice one" None of these "ones" help you get laid.
26. The first movie I ever saw in a theatre was Lady and the Tramp, in Vernon with my brother, mom and grandma at Christmastime. I remember it because, at the same time on Silver Star, my dad was skiing with my uncle and broke his leg.
27. I don't look it, but I have a pretty good ability to play almost any sport at a passable level, but I wish I was really good at at least one of them.
28. When I was 13, I cried when the Vancouver Canucks lost Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup finals. If they ever win it, I'll probably cry then, too. I'm not ashamed of that, either.
29. I'm a pretty independent person. Growing up, I could always entertain myself. I've also never had a roommate, and if I ever had a girlfriend for more than 15 minutes, nobody can seem to remember.
30. I fall into the infamous "friend zone" with girls waaaaaay too easily, and it's impossible to escape from later. It's like fucking quicksand.
31. I have a parallel life with my friend and co-worker Kristyl. We went to the same high school (Walnut Grove), same college (Kwantlen), same university (TRU) and now we work together. Oddly enough, she also lives across the street, but we never even knew each other until last year when she started working with us.
32. I am not a morning person and value sleep more than almost everything. Today, for example, I woke up at my parent's house at 9 a.m., got a ride home, slept for another hour, got woken up by my drinking partners to go for breakfast, then came home and slept for another 3 hours. I woke up for good at 2:37 p.m.
33. I've only been to Las Vegas once, but I just absolutely love it. Not sure why, as I'm not a huge gambler, but I just love it. I'm going tomorrow.
34. I talk a good game, but am rarely motivated to do what I say I'm going to. In the past 12 months, I think I've said the following things: I'm going to buy a new place; I'm going to get a tattoo; I'm going to buy a Cadillac; I'm going to get laser eye surgery; I'm going to buy a dog. None of these things have happened.
35. I'm not ashamed to be lazy.
36. My favourite TV shows always get cancelled after just a season or two (Sports Night, Studio 60, The Job, Undeclared).
37. When I moved home from Alberta four-and-a-half years ago, I lost about 45-50 pounds, but haven't been able to lose anymore since, and it frustrates me more than anything else in my life.
38. My two favourite beers are Bud Light and Sleemans Original Draught.
39. One day I'll probably try and write a book or a screenplay, but everytime I start doing it, I give up about 5 pages in, at most. I don't know how the real writers do it.
40. If my parents weren't around, I'd probably be very lost, especially when it comes to how to cook stuff (mom) or how to fix things (dad).
41. I can bust out pop culture references like nobody's business.
42. One of my biggest pet peeves is e-mailing somebody and not getting a reply or acknowledgement back.
43. I'm still pretty shy, but not as painfully so as I used to be back in the day.
44. I'm very competitive, and hold the honour of being the first Cannons' slo-pitch player to be booted from a game.
45. I love Mexican food.
46. I'm a chronic list-maker. (I like to be organized.)
47. Last year was my finest year of work. I won a first-place Suburban Newspapers of America award (Canada & United States) for sports writing, and a third-place for column writing, the latter of which I'd been doing for less than a year.
48. Last year I won $1,600 in a hockey pool.
49. In my school and work life, the two biggest criticisms of me have been the following: I'm too much of a smart-ass for my own good (school), and I'm not intense enough (work).
50. Both times I was told those things, I literally laughed out loud to the superior who told them to me.
51. I showed up shitfaced to my year-end university banquet, even though the banquet started at noon on a Wednesday.
52. Mike and I once purchased matching ugly orange ties from Value Village for us and six of our friends. To my knowledge, I am the only one who still has his, although Mike might, too.
53. I just learned how to tie a tie a few months ago.
54. I was once part of a consortium of troublemakers who attempted to dismantle and steal a Sifton Ave. street sign in Kamloops. Our impending failure resulted in Mike almost getting arrested, me running for blocks and blocks, and Shaun losing a shoe.
55. A little while after the above escapade, Mike and I commemorated the event by making T-shirts that said "Sifton Avenue Mischief" on them.
56. I survived a northern Alberta winter without snow tires on my Honda Civic.
57. I make fun of myself a lot, especially in my column writing.
58. In the last two years, I've become very addicted to golfing, even though I'm not very good.
59. I eat sushi at least twice a week, but not the raw stuff. I could live very comfortably off beef teriyaki rolls and prawn tempura.
60. Like Kelsey, I panic when I don't have my BlackBerry on me.
61. Me, Doug and Chris once made so many prank calls, especially to one person, that the cops came to my mom and dad's house. The cops also came once when someone in the car I was driving threw a Burger King cup out the window. Old people behind us called 9-1-1 and told the cops it was a beer bottle, and that we intentionally tossed it off the overpass.
62. Most of the time, I think people should just mind their own fucking business.
63. I hate awkward, forced conversations, which is why I've successfully weaseled out of nearly every banquet or other schmoozefest that my company has ever tried to send me to.
64. Two of the (hundreds of) girls I've slept with in my life had boyfriends at the time, or so they said. 64B. I feel absolutely no guilt for this. Like none. Whatever I can get, I takes.
65. My grandpa is one of my biggest role models in my life, for many reasons. I respect him more than almost anybody.
66. 80% of the time I'm awake, I'm either chewing gum or drinking Diet Coke.
67. I started this blog five years ago because Mike had one and I wanted one, too, but since then about 10 of my friends have started blogs, most of which are now dormant or erased from the 'net, Mike's included. The lesson here? I'm a trendsetter and I have staying power.
68. I hate returning gifts.
69. Hahaha, 69. (I'm pretty immature at times)
70. I'm addicted to double-doubles from Tim Hortons.
71. I failed my driver's test twice, and back when it was run on the old demerit system, I passed my third test with the maximum allowable demerits. One more missed shoulder check, and I'd have failed.
72. I once went to work at my old auto parts-delivery job after having been drinking all night with my cousins, and subsequently fell asleep at a stop light later that day, while delivering to some place at the airport. It was only for a few seconds, probably, but only a honk from the car behind me woke me up.
73. After being accepted into school at Kamloops, I changed my mind at the last minute, and applied to the Human Kinetics/sports management program at UBC, which I somehow got into. Then, two weeks later, I changed my mind again and switched back to the 'loops, which is where I stayed.
74. The real reason I applied to UBC was because I didn't want to move away.
75. Three junior hockey coaches in two different leagues have been suspended and/or fined because of things they said to me after a game, and which I then published in the paper.
76. Things I've been called by angry readers during my tenure in the news business: an asshole, a stupid young fuck, the devil, an idiot, arrogant, inconsiderate, Rick.
77. I think I was born to be a GM of a baseball or hockey team. When I was a kid I used to invent entire fake teams with fake players, write down all the lineups and stats, and face the teams off against each other in an imaginary league. Players would retire, get traded, everything - somewhere still there is probably an entire notebook full of phony rosters, box scores and transaction reports.
78. I am the undisputed Scattergories champion of the world.
79. The first girl I ever kissed, way back in elementary school, died about three years ago as a result of some kind of eating disorder. I just happened to see her obituary in the paper one day, and remembered her name.
80. At heart, I'm a pretty frugal person, but you wouldn't know it by the amount of money I blow.
81. After I gained back a few of the pounds I lost upon my return from Alberta, I decided I would no longer weight myself. I've been trying to lose weight again lately, but have absolutely no idea how much I weigh anymore. I'm scared to look. I judge my fitness ups and downs by whether or not I can fit into my biege and brown Brody button-up, and an old white Hurley t-shirt that I love, but haven't been able to wear for a couple years.
82. Right now, the Brody shirt doesn't really fit, but the Hurley one does, so I'm still very confused.
83. I despise mushrooms, and when I was a kid I hated mayonaise so much that I refused to even touch the jar. Now I don't mind it.
84. I have 1,325 songs on my iPod - everything from the Barenaked Ladies to Nirvana, to Frank Sinatra and Jay-Z.
85. I dislike the mall very much. If not for Orange Julius and those big slices of pizza in the food court, I'd probably buy everything online.
86. My favourite position in baseball is the outfield. Nothing beats making a diving catch. Nothing.
87. The best baseball advice I ever got was, oddly enough, from a hockey coach. In Peace River, the junior B coach told me that the most important thing in baseball was to learn how crush home runs. Why? "Chicks dig the long ball."
88. I went to school with a guy who was, at one point last year, one of B.C.'s top 10 most wanted car thieves. Another guy I went to school with had to move halfway across the world to escape his going-nowhere life, and another was murdered about a year and half ago in a gang-related execution. Oh, and those infamous Bacon Brothers of Abbotsford? They used to live across the street.
89. I hate being cold.
90. My two favourite movies are Wayne's World and The Goonies.
91. Last summer, I fulfilled my life-long goal of being so drunk that, the next morning, I puked in a children's playground.
92. I have an official MLB baseball that Richie Sexson hit into the left-field bleachers at Safeco Field during pre-game batting practice.
93. For years, I kept the puck that was my first-ever minor hockey goal, which I scored when I was eight. I don't know where it is, but I bet I could still ID it - it had a large chunk missing from it. It was a garbage goal too, I was standing in the crease and fired a rebound into a wide open net.
94. I'm very superstitious when it comes to sports. When I was about 13, I once won about 10-12 games in a row, so I refused to re-tape my goalie stick until we lost. When we finally did, I rolled the old tape up a ball, and kept it in my hockey bag for years, as a good luck charm. I still have it.
95. At no level of baseball or slo-pitch have I ever hit a ball over the fence, and it remains my biggest sporting goal. If I could just do it once, I could retire happy.
96. I go to my parents' house for dinner pretty much every Sunday. (And also whenever I run out of food, but Sundays for sure)
97. I miss my two dogs all the time.
98. As a teenager and even in my early 20s, I always seemed to have money when nobody else did, and I have no idea why, because I only ever had crappy part-time jobs. I'd always end up lending people money, and only stopped when I realized I wasn't getting it all back in a timely fashion. For awhile, a buddy of mine nicknamed me "Transaction Man"
99. And on the subject of money, I'm pretty sure that, for one reason or another, Kelsey still owes me $20. I couldn't tell you from what, or if she actually does, but I just assume. We've had a fair number of prolonged transactions through the years.
100. The CP Style Guide basically runs my life.
101. My lucky number is 3.
So now, because I'm nothing if not a follower, I have a similar post, with one unique twist:
:100 things about me, plus 1 thing about someone else ::
1. I am 27 years old, but cannot grow a beard.
2. I am a very good liar, which I learned at Grade 7 camp, when I played a prank on someone and, with a straight face, convinced the prank victim that I had nothing to do with it, and instead implicated someone else. Instead of getting upset with me, the camp counsellor who witnessed our conversation complimented me on my skills of deception.
3. My favourite song of all-time is the Tragically Hip's Ahead by a Century.
4. My middle name is Kelly.
5. Kelsey's middle name is Dawn.
6. I enjoy a good game of extreme bocce.
7. I'm a charter member of the Grammar Police.
8. I spend most of my time at work e-mailing Wayne's World references to my co-worker, and text messaging Simpsons' quotes to Bucholtz, yet I am always praised for my incredible work ethic, and ability to get shit done.
9. I have a press pass for the Vancouver Canucks.
10. I'm hungover right now.
11. When it comes to success with the oppposite sex, I was in a slump for a very, very long time.
12. I'm doing better now.
13. In Grade 6, I won a fight against the toughest kid in school, Clay, because I hit him in the stomach with a hockey stick.
14. On one particular New Year's Eve, about 3 a.m., I got in such a loud argument with someone on the street in front on my parent's house that it woke my dad up, even though his bedroom is at the very back of the house.
15. I'm sometimes a very confrontational, obnoxious drunk.
16. I've lived in South Surrey, Langley, Kamloops and Peace River.
17. In Kamloops, I once helped throw an old Christmas tree off a 2nd floor balcony, over a fence and onto a muddy embankment.
18. The next morning, when I heard the landlord come to the door and tell one of the (non-involed) housemates that they had to go get the tree, I got up from sleeping on the couch, grabbed my stuff, and went home before anyone else woke up, so I didn't have to help. (Sorry Mike, Meghan, Melissa and Lorne...sort of)
19. I regret going right from high school to college, and then getting that done in four years and then getting a job. I wish I had taken a year to travel.
20. If I didn't live in B.C., I think I'd like to live in northern California.
21. I work in what most experts consider a dying industry.
22. Two of the playlists on my iTunes player are called, "Of course I'm drunk, asshole" and "Keep running, Fatty" (for the gym).
23. My brother is my best friend, and about 10 years ago I successfully stole all his best friends for myself because I decided they were a lot better people than the d-bags I'd been hanging out with in high school and my first year of university. I was right.
24. I successfully swindled my second dog, Digby, away from another friend, because I told everyone Diggers was better off with us. He was, for sure, but mostly I just didn't want to give the little guy back.
25. I've always been "the responsible one" "the funny one" or the "nice one" None of these "ones" help you get laid.
26. The first movie I ever saw in a theatre was Lady and the Tramp, in Vernon with my brother, mom and grandma at Christmastime. I remember it because, at the same time on Silver Star, my dad was skiing with my uncle and broke his leg.
27. I don't look it, but I have a pretty good ability to play almost any sport at a passable level, but I wish I was really good at at least one of them.
28. When I was 13, I cried when the Vancouver Canucks lost Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup finals. If they ever win it, I'll probably cry then, too. I'm not ashamed of that, either.
29. I'm a pretty independent person. Growing up, I could always entertain myself. I've also never had a roommate, and if I ever had a girlfriend for more than 15 minutes, nobody can seem to remember.
30. I fall into the infamous "friend zone" with girls waaaaaay too easily, and it's impossible to escape from later. It's like fucking quicksand.
31. I have a parallel life with my friend and co-worker Kristyl. We went to the same high school (Walnut Grove), same college (Kwantlen), same university (TRU) and now we work together. Oddly enough, she also lives across the street, but we never even knew each other until last year when she started working with us.
32. I am not a morning person and value sleep more than almost everything. Today, for example, I woke up at my parent's house at 9 a.m., got a ride home, slept for another hour, got woken up by my drinking partners to go for breakfast, then came home and slept for another 3 hours. I woke up for good at 2:37 p.m.
33. I've only been to Las Vegas once, but I just absolutely love it. Not sure why, as I'm not a huge gambler, but I just love it. I'm going tomorrow.
34. I talk a good game, but am rarely motivated to do what I say I'm going to. In the past 12 months, I think I've said the following things: I'm going to buy a new place; I'm going to get a tattoo; I'm going to buy a Cadillac; I'm going to get laser eye surgery; I'm going to buy a dog. None of these things have happened.
35. I'm not ashamed to be lazy.
36. My favourite TV shows always get cancelled after just a season or two (Sports Night, Studio 60, The Job, Undeclared).
37. When I moved home from Alberta four-and-a-half years ago, I lost about 45-50 pounds, but haven't been able to lose anymore since, and it frustrates me more than anything else in my life.
38. My two favourite beers are Bud Light and Sleemans Original Draught.
39. One day I'll probably try and write a book or a screenplay, but everytime I start doing it, I give up about 5 pages in, at most. I don't know how the real writers do it.
40. If my parents weren't around, I'd probably be very lost, especially when it comes to how to cook stuff (mom) or how to fix things (dad).
41. I can bust out pop culture references like nobody's business.
42. One of my biggest pet peeves is e-mailing somebody and not getting a reply or acknowledgement back.
43. I'm still pretty shy, but not as painfully so as I used to be back in the day.
44. I'm very competitive, and hold the honour of being the first Cannons' slo-pitch player to be booted from a game.
45. I love Mexican food.
46. I'm a chronic list-maker. (I like to be organized.)
47. Last year was my finest year of work. I won a first-place Suburban Newspapers of America award (Canada & United States) for sports writing, and a third-place for column writing, the latter of which I'd been doing for less than a year.
48. Last year I won $1,600 in a hockey pool.
49. In my school and work life, the two biggest criticisms of me have been the following: I'm too much of a smart-ass for my own good (school), and I'm not intense enough (work).
50. Both times I was told those things, I literally laughed out loud to the superior who told them to me.
51. I showed up shitfaced to my year-end university banquet, even though the banquet started at noon on a Wednesday.
52. Mike and I once purchased matching ugly orange ties from Value Village for us and six of our friends. To my knowledge, I am the only one who still has his, although Mike might, too.
53. I just learned how to tie a tie a few months ago.
54. I was once part of a consortium of troublemakers who attempted to dismantle and steal a Sifton Ave. street sign in Kamloops. Our impending failure resulted in Mike almost getting arrested, me running for blocks and blocks, and Shaun losing a shoe.
55. A little while after the above escapade, Mike and I commemorated the event by making T-shirts that said "Sifton Avenue Mischief" on them.
56. I survived a northern Alberta winter without snow tires on my Honda Civic.
57. I make fun of myself a lot, especially in my column writing.
58. In the last two years, I've become very addicted to golfing, even though I'm not very good.
59. I eat sushi at least twice a week, but not the raw stuff. I could live very comfortably off beef teriyaki rolls and prawn tempura.
60. Like Kelsey, I panic when I don't have my BlackBerry on me.
61. Me, Doug and Chris once made so many prank calls, especially to one person, that the cops came to my mom and dad's house. The cops also came once when someone in the car I was driving threw a Burger King cup out the window. Old people behind us called 9-1-1 and told the cops it was a beer bottle, and that we intentionally tossed it off the overpass.
62. Most of the time, I think people should just mind their own fucking business.
63. I hate awkward, forced conversations, which is why I've successfully weaseled out of nearly every banquet or other schmoozefest that my company has ever tried to send me to.
64. Two of the (hundreds of) girls I've slept with in my life had boyfriends at the time, or so they said. 64B. I feel absolutely no guilt for this. Like none. Whatever I can get, I takes.
65. My grandpa is one of my biggest role models in my life, for many reasons. I respect him more than almost anybody.
66. 80% of the time I'm awake, I'm either chewing gum or drinking Diet Coke.
67. I started this blog five years ago because Mike had one and I wanted one, too, but since then about 10 of my friends have started blogs, most of which are now dormant or erased from the 'net, Mike's included. The lesson here? I'm a trendsetter and I have staying power.
68. I hate returning gifts.
69. Hahaha, 69. (I'm pretty immature at times)
70. I'm addicted to double-doubles from Tim Hortons.
71. I failed my driver's test twice, and back when it was run on the old demerit system, I passed my third test with the maximum allowable demerits. One more missed shoulder check, and I'd have failed.
72. I once went to work at my old auto parts-delivery job after having been drinking all night with my cousins, and subsequently fell asleep at a stop light later that day, while delivering to some place at the airport. It was only for a few seconds, probably, but only a honk from the car behind me woke me up.
73. After being accepted into school at Kamloops, I changed my mind at the last minute, and applied to the Human Kinetics/sports management program at UBC, which I somehow got into. Then, two weeks later, I changed my mind again and switched back to the 'loops, which is where I stayed.
74. The real reason I applied to UBC was because I didn't want to move away.
75. Three junior hockey coaches in two different leagues have been suspended and/or fined because of things they said to me after a game, and which I then published in the paper.
76. Things I've been called by angry readers during my tenure in the news business: an asshole, a stupid young fuck, the devil, an idiot, arrogant, inconsiderate, Rick.
77. I think I was born to be a GM of a baseball or hockey team. When I was a kid I used to invent entire fake teams with fake players, write down all the lineups and stats, and face the teams off against each other in an imaginary league. Players would retire, get traded, everything - somewhere still there is probably an entire notebook full of phony rosters, box scores and transaction reports.
78. I am the undisputed Scattergories champion of the world.
79. The first girl I ever kissed, way back in elementary school, died about three years ago as a result of some kind of eating disorder. I just happened to see her obituary in the paper one day, and remembered her name.
80. At heart, I'm a pretty frugal person, but you wouldn't know it by the amount of money I blow.
81. After I gained back a few of the pounds I lost upon my return from Alberta, I decided I would no longer weight myself. I've been trying to lose weight again lately, but have absolutely no idea how much I weigh anymore. I'm scared to look. I judge my fitness ups and downs by whether or not I can fit into my biege and brown Brody button-up, and an old white Hurley t-shirt that I love, but haven't been able to wear for a couple years.
82. Right now, the Brody shirt doesn't really fit, but the Hurley one does, so I'm still very confused.
83. I despise mushrooms, and when I was a kid I hated mayonaise so much that I refused to even touch the jar. Now I don't mind it.
84. I have 1,325 songs on my iPod - everything from the Barenaked Ladies to Nirvana, to Frank Sinatra and Jay-Z.
85. I dislike the mall very much. If not for Orange Julius and those big slices of pizza in the food court, I'd probably buy everything online.
86. My favourite position in baseball is the outfield. Nothing beats making a diving catch. Nothing.
87. The best baseball advice I ever got was, oddly enough, from a hockey coach. In Peace River, the junior B coach told me that the most important thing in baseball was to learn how crush home runs. Why? "Chicks dig the long ball."
88. I went to school with a guy who was, at one point last year, one of B.C.'s top 10 most wanted car thieves. Another guy I went to school with had to move halfway across the world to escape his going-nowhere life, and another was murdered about a year and half ago in a gang-related execution. Oh, and those infamous Bacon Brothers of Abbotsford? They used to live across the street.
89. I hate being cold.
90. My two favourite movies are Wayne's World and The Goonies.
91. Last summer, I fulfilled my life-long goal of being so drunk that, the next morning, I puked in a children's playground.
92. I have an official MLB baseball that Richie Sexson hit into the left-field bleachers at Safeco Field during pre-game batting practice.
93. For years, I kept the puck that was my first-ever minor hockey goal, which I scored when I was eight. I don't know where it is, but I bet I could still ID it - it had a large chunk missing from it. It was a garbage goal too, I was standing in the crease and fired a rebound into a wide open net.
94. I'm very superstitious when it comes to sports. When I was about 13, I once won about 10-12 games in a row, so I refused to re-tape my goalie stick until we lost. When we finally did, I rolled the old tape up a ball, and kept it in my hockey bag for years, as a good luck charm. I still have it.
95. At no level of baseball or slo-pitch have I ever hit a ball over the fence, and it remains my biggest sporting goal. If I could just do it once, I could retire happy.
96. I go to my parents' house for dinner pretty much every Sunday. (And also whenever I run out of food, but Sundays for sure)
97. I miss my two dogs all the time.
98. As a teenager and even in my early 20s, I always seemed to have money when nobody else did, and I have no idea why, because I only ever had crappy part-time jobs. I'd always end up lending people money, and only stopped when I realized I wasn't getting it all back in a timely fashion. For awhile, a buddy of mine nicknamed me "Transaction Man"
99. And on the subject of money, I'm pretty sure that, for one reason or another, Kelsey still owes me $20. I couldn't tell you from what, or if she actually does, but I just assume. We've had a fair number of prolonged transactions through the years.
100. The CP Style Guide basically runs my life.
101. My lucky number is 3.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
:: The List ::
I've felt a little off lately, and I'm not sure as to why. It's not that I've been feeling particularly bad, nor particularily good.
Just off.
Alternately bored, anxious, kinda melancolic, and other times just plain fine. Why the sudden shifts in mood? Beats the fuck out of me. Maybe it's because I'm not exactly thrilled with my job anymore, nor the direction my work-related life is taking me. That may be due, in part, to my fascination with the new NBC show Studio 60, thus making me decide that maybe my future career should be writing witty television shows in Hollywood, rather than re-writing 11-year-old's swim results and asking "Can you spell your name for me again?" in White Rock.
Or maybe it's just this God-damn weather, making me feel like I'm somehow cooped up, hemmed in, because of the snow and ice. (Nevermind that the roads are actually pretty good and I've been fine in it thus far)
Could also be the fact that I don't have a girlfriend - and it ain't for lack of trying, especially lately - and everyone else seems to. Also, the fact that I haven't got laid since about 1976 ain't doing any favours for my current malaise.
But regardless, I feel odd. Usually, when something like that happens, the first consequence for me is insomnia. That's not been the case this time, however. Instead, I've just been waking up in the middle of the night a lot, and rather than go right back to bed, I usually get up. Sometimes I'll go get something to drink, or surf the 'net for a few minutes. Other times I'll just wander around my townhouse in the dark, staring out all the windows.
I know. Weird.
I have, however, found a solution to my funk, the idea spawned from a TV Special I watched (hosted by Ami James from Miami Ink) the other day called "30 things to do before you're 30."
Being that making to-do lists is partially what keeps me sane, especially at work where my desk is covered in yellow sticky-note lists, I figured I'd give it a shot. I don't know why, but I've always been a list kind-of guy.
So here goes, my Things To Do in Life list - but not neccesarily before I'm 30 because that only gives me five years (yikes! that's weird to say), but just in general. Also, the list is in no particular order, just written as they came to me. I suggest making your own list, either on your own blogs, or if you are of the blogless variety (losers!) then there's always the comment section here.
1. Get a tattoo. Hopefully this will happen soon, but we'll see.
2. Travel to South America. I know a guy organizing an Ecuador trip, so this could conceivably happen too.
3. Buy a dog
4. Break my "slump"
5. Be in the arena/stadium when a sports team wins a championship
6. Actually 'get up' on a wakeboard
7. Spend an alcohol and drug-induced weekend in Vegas. Lose money, but snort blow off a hot stripper's naked rack in a far too expensive hotel room. Call that breaking even.
8. Go to Europe.
9. Own a cabin on a lake somewhere.
10. Write a book. Even if it sucks and nobody actually publishes it. My mom will still like it.
11. Quit a job in a huff, storm out and never come back. Fuck two weeks notice.
12. Win a sports-reporting award of some kind. Fuck this second-place BS.
13. Invent an alcohol concoction of some type. Like the Flaming Moe but mine will be called the Steve Garvey. Buchs and Bobby know why.
14. Get a story in the newspaper about me when I die. This means more than just an obituary. An actual story, where some timid reporter has to call my family and friends and get quotes and stories about me. This will require me to be either a) noteworthy/well known in my community, or b) die in some strange/outrageous/awesome way. Should I have to go this route, I've narrowed it down to hail of gunfire, large grease fire in a Chinese restaurant, or choke on the world's largest Rice Krispie square.
15. Pick up a girl at a wedding.
16. Watch a Canucks game from the press box.
17. Drive to California, stopping just whenever I feel like it. Returning home when I feel like it as well.
18. Own a sports car. Porsche. Corvette. Mustang GT. I don't care, just gimme something fast.
19. Write a standup comedy routine. Actually getting on stage and performing it is another matter entirely.
20. Impress a girl enough so that she's the one chasing me. Not the other way around.
21. Further to #20, use girl strictly for sex. Why? I dunno, seems fun, far as I can tell.
22. Hit a home run in slo-pitch.
23. Make a movie.
Well, thats' all I got folks. 23 things. I'm seriously about them all, too, even if some of them seem smart-alecky.
Now, back to staring out the window. I feel better already.
I've felt a little off lately, and I'm not sure as to why. It's not that I've been feeling particularly bad, nor particularily good.
Just off.
Alternately bored, anxious, kinda melancolic, and other times just plain fine. Why the sudden shifts in mood? Beats the fuck out of me. Maybe it's because I'm not exactly thrilled with my job anymore, nor the direction my work-related life is taking me. That may be due, in part, to my fascination with the new NBC show Studio 60, thus making me decide that maybe my future career should be writing witty television shows in Hollywood, rather than re-writing 11-year-old's swim results and asking "Can you spell your name for me again?" in White Rock.
Or maybe it's just this God-damn weather, making me feel like I'm somehow cooped up, hemmed in, because of the snow and ice. (Nevermind that the roads are actually pretty good and I've been fine in it thus far)
Could also be the fact that I don't have a girlfriend - and it ain't for lack of trying, especially lately - and everyone else seems to. Also, the fact that I haven't got laid since about 1976 ain't doing any favours for my current malaise.
But regardless, I feel odd. Usually, when something like that happens, the first consequence for me is insomnia. That's not been the case this time, however. Instead, I've just been waking up in the middle of the night a lot, and rather than go right back to bed, I usually get up. Sometimes I'll go get something to drink, or surf the 'net for a few minutes. Other times I'll just wander around my townhouse in the dark, staring out all the windows.
I know. Weird.
I have, however, found a solution to my funk, the idea spawned from a TV Special I watched (hosted by Ami James from Miami Ink) the other day called "30 things to do before you're 30."
Being that making to-do lists is partially what keeps me sane, especially at work where my desk is covered in yellow sticky-note lists, I figured I'd give it a shot. I don't know why, but I've always been a list kind-of guy.
So here goes, my Things To Do in Life list - but not neccesarily before I'm 30 because that only gives me five years (yikes! that's weird to say), but just in general. Also, the list is in no particular order, just written as they came to me. I suggest making your own list, either on your own blogs, or if you are of the blogless variety (losers!) then there's always the comment section here.
1. Get a tattoo. Hopefully this will happen soon, but we'll see.
2. Travel to South America. I know a guy organizing an Ecuador trip, so this could conceivably happen too.
3. Buy a dog
4. Break my "slump"
5. Be in the arena/stadium when a sports team wins a championship
6. Actually 'get up' on a wakeboard
7. Spend an alcohol and drug-induced weekend in Vegas. Lose money, but snort blow off a hot stripper's naked rack in a far too expensive hotel room. Call that breaking even.
8. Go to Europe.
9. Own a cabin on a lake somewhere.
10. Write a book. Even if it sucks and nobody actually publishes it. My mom will still like it.
11. Quit a job in a huff, storm out and never come back. Fuck two weeks notice.
12. Win a sports-reporting award of some kind. Fuck this second-place BS.
13. Invent an alcohol concoction of some type. Like the Flaming Moe but mine will be called the Steve Garvey. Buchs and Bobby know why.
14. Get a story in the newspaper about me when I die. This means more than just an obituary. An actual story, where some timid reporter has to call my family and friends and get quotes and stories about me. This will require me to be either a) noteworthy/well known in my community, or b) die in some strange/outrageous/awesome way. Should I have to go this route, I've narrowed it down to hail of gunfire, large grease fire in a Chinese restaurant, or choke on the world's largest Rice Krispie square.
15. Pick up a girl at a wedding.
16. Watch a Canucks game from the press box.
17. Drive to California, stopping just whenever I feel like it. Returning home when I feel like it as well.
18. Own a sports car. Porsche. Corvette. Mustang GT. I don't care, just gimme something fast.
19. Write a standup comedy routine. Actually getting on stage and performing it is another matter entirely.
20. Impress a girl enough so that she's the one chasing me. Not the other way around.
21. Further to #20, use girl strictly for sex. Why? I dunno, seems fun, far as I can tell.
22. Hit a home run in slo-pitch.
23. Make a movie.
Well, thats' all I got folks. 23 things. I'm seriously about them all, too, even if some of them seem smart-alecky.
Now, back to staring out the window. I feel better already.
Friday, September 08, 2006
As most of you know - through my incessant complaining the last few weeks - I'm now working a Sunday-to-Thursday shift at work, thus giving me Friday off. It goes without saying that I'm unhappy - having Friday off while everyone else is at work is sort of a waste to me.
Below is my first Friday off, documented. A waste? You be the judge.
- Woke up far too early for my liking...around 9:30.
- Watched two episodes of the Cosby Show on TBS, followed by King of Queens.
- Overpaid for pineapple.
- Ate a mango.
- forgot to buy milk.
- Vacuumed, and cleaned my kitchen. Left the bathrooms for another day (Don't want to peak too early after all)
- Downloaded 32 songs to my new computer.
- drank a beer in the bathroom
- completed 2 fantasy football drafts on Yahoo!
- added two new links to this blog (at left)
- started drinking at 3:45
- drank another beer in the shower
- Now having Internet access again after a week without, I checked to make sure there is still porn on the world wide web. There is.
- Double checked.
That is it.
Below is my first Friday off, documented. A waste? You be the judge.
- Woke up far too early for my liking...around 9:30.
- Watched two episodes of the Cosby Show on TBS, followed by King of Queens.
- Overpaid for pineapple.
- Ate a mango.
- forgot to buy milk.
- Vacuumed, and cleaned my kitchen. Left the bathrooms for another day (Don't want to peak too early after all)
- Downloaded 32 songs to my new computer.
- drank a beer in the bathroom
- completed 2 fantasy football drafts on Yahoo!
- added two new links to this blog (at left)
- started drinking at 3:45
- drank another beer in the shower
- Now having Internet access again after a week without, I checked to make sure there is still porn on the world wide web. There is.
- Double checked.
That is it.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
:: The Rules ::
Well, it's over.
A few pictures still have to be hung, a few minor things put away, but for the most part, the move is done.
Thank fucking God.
We started moving things in last week, slowly but surely, and we got to the point Saturday where two or three loads and everything was where it needed to be. The rest of the day was spent, along with my parents, putting furniture together and generally sorting out the house.
Did that pretty much all day, til the late evening, when I ate dinner and headed off to Rachel's birthday shaker at her bro's house, which, convienently, is now only about 5 minutes from my house.
But, now that I'm in the new digs, all moved in for good, I figured I should lay out a few rules. I'm not exactly gonna enforce 'em with an iron fist like some douchebag, but just try your best.
1. No puking anywhere in my house, in the front courtyard, or definitely not off my balcony. In fact, just to be safe, how ''bout just keeping all your vomit-like fluids to yourself while you're here.
2. Speaking of the balcony, do me a favour and don't spit, throw cigarette butts, or beer cans or anything else over the edge. This is because right below my balcony, is my neighbour Steve's patio. And he's a pretty big dude. And he has a goatee. And all weekend he wore a shirt with flames on it, so you know he doesn't fuck around.
3. Shut the fuck up already. We don't have to be church-quiet, obviously, but just keep down the ol' noise when it's late - not really any different than if we're at Sean and Rachel's or anywhere else. I don't have landlords than can give me the boot, but I really don't wanna get fined up the ass by the strata.
4. No sex is to be had in the new abode unless I'm involved in some way. And Bucholtz - about that offer you made to me last night when I informed people of this rule...never say that again.
5. Similar to the shutting up rule, no loud drunken arguments in the courtyard or driveways, parking lots. Decent people are probably trying to sleep. Sean and Rachel, Kelsey and, well, me. I'm looking in your (our) direction.
6. Don't break anything.
That's pretty much it I think. Feel free to come visit. Just gimme a minute to get the door because I'll probably have to find pants first.
Well, it's over.
A few pictures still have to be hung, a few minor things put away, but for the most part, the move is done.
Thank fucking God.
We started moving things in last week, slowly but surely, and we got to the point Saturday where two or three loads and everything was where it needed to be. The rest of the day was spent, along with my parents, putting furniture together and generally sorting out the house.
Did that pretty much all day, til the late evening, when I ate dinner and headed off to Rachel's birthday shaker at her bro's house, which, convienently, is now only about 5 minutes from my house.
But, now that I'm in the new digs, all moved in for good, I figured I should lay out a few rules. I'm not exactly gonna enforce 'em with an iron fist like some douchebag, but just try your best.
1. No puking anywhere in my house, in the front courtyard, or definitely not off my balcony. In fact, just to be safe, how ''bout just keeping all your vomit-like fluids to yourself while you're here.
2. Speaking of the balcony, do me a favour and don't spit, throw cigarette butts, or beer cans or anything else over the edge. This is because right below my balcony, is my neighbour Steve's patio. And he's a pretty big dude. And he has a goatee. And all weekend he wore a shirt with flames on it, so you know he doesn't fuck around.
3. Shut the fuck up already. We don't have to be church-quiet, obviously, but just keep down the ol' noise when it's late - not really any different than if we're at Sean and Rachel's or anywhere else. I don't have landlords than can give me the boot, but I really don't wanna get fined up the ass by the strata.
4. No sex is to be had in the new abode unless I'm involved in some way. And Bucholtz - about that offer you made to me last night when I informed people of this rule...never say that again.
5. Similar to the shutting up rule, no loud drunken arguments in the courtyard or driveways, parking lots. Decent people are probably trying to sleep. Sean and Rachel, Kelsey and, well, me. I'm looking in your (our) direction.
6. Don't break anything.
That's pretty much it I think. Feel free to come visit. Just gimme a minute to get the door because I'll probably have to find pants first.